Looking forward to work

Who would've thought that putting on this sexy blue polo top on three times a week would bring me so much joy!? The weekends are really hard right now as it was always the time we spent together as a whole family, so I really look forward to Monday when I know that I can go to work, and do something that I love so much.

When I got the job as a Teacher Assistant at the end of last year, I thought it would be good as I felt lost after Noah passed away and it would keep me busier.   Now I look back and really believe that it was all meant to be for a reason - to give me a routine, give me something to look forward to and to help bring some joy back into my life (and having a small income come in of course, but I see that as a bonus).

The first week that I started back at work was just a couple of weeks after Aaron passed away.  I could've waited longer, but I just felt like I wanted to start as early as possible.  Although I liked it at first, I wondered if I had made the wrong decision.  

It was hard to go to work with so much to do at home on my own, and so much to organise after Aaron passed away. 

It was hard to go to work when all I could think about was that Aaron (and Noah) died.  

It was hard to go to work, knowing I would go home to the three boys and not have Aaron to talk to about my day.  

But now it's not hard at all.  I love it so much, and I look forward to every day that I go to work.  

Jalen always asks me how my day at work was, and always wants to know about the kids and what they are like.  It's of course not the same as coming home to tell Aaron all about it, but it's the best I've got at the moment and it's nice to talk to him about it.

I've had a lot of people ask me if it was hard to work at the school that Noah went to, but to be honest it makes it easier because it was Noah's school.  It makes me feel closer to Noah as I see his friends that he went to school with, and as I work with kids who have similar disabilities to him. 

I wish I could share photos of the gorgeous kids I work with as they are all so cute.  I actually wish I could bring them all home with me!  There are seven kids all together, but we usually have an average of five there. You would think that having five or six kids in a room with four adults (three teacher assistants and the teacher) would be easy right? That's what I thought until I started work! :) 

It's full on as the kids are so busy and have so many different needs, but I love it.  I feel like it's challenging, but not too hard.   I love not having the responsibility of being the teacher, but still feel like I can actually teach them because of the experiences that I've had.    I'm not sure if I'll ever want to teach again, but for now I love, love, love my work and am so happy that I have something to look forward to during the week.