Sunday 11 October 2020

Creating Happy Memories

I knew I wanted to go to Hobart for the anniversary of Noah's death to have some fun, and we had an amazing couple of days at Port Arthur and on the Tasman Island Cruise but the thing we loved the most was spending time with family and friends, while we were down there. 

My brother Jared picked up Mum from our hotel after we arrived and it's always good to see him, even if it's only for a few minutes.   Everyone who knows him well knows Jared as 'Buffy' and he's definitely a gentle giant. 
It's very unusual to get a photo without him sticking his middle finger up, so we will treasure these photos! People commented on my Instagram that it must've been because he was in his work uniform. 
The first night we were there we had dinner with our good friends Dan and Lou and the kids.  Dan and I grew up together since we were little kids as our families were very close.  Aaron and I used to have him and his brother Josh come and have sleepovers at our house before we had kids.  The boys love talking NBA with Dan. 

The second night we had dinner with Sarah and Joe and their boys. We often stay with them when we go to Hobart, but if we don't we always make sure we catch up.  There's always lots of laughs when we are with them.  
Jay had dinner with us both nights and we also went up to  his uni accommodation as Mum had never been there before.  He's just been made the Communications Officer (I think that's what it's called!) for Christ College (where he's staying) for 2021.  He's already doing lots of things for it including making posters for events which are happening.  He'll also be in charge of posting on their social media and writing newsletters etc.   It's perfect for him, especially since he's studying Media.  

He's having the best year there this year as he's made a lot of really good friends.   Harri went rock climbing with Jay and some of his friends one morning while we were there. 
I told my brother Eden a few weeks ago that we were planning on going to Hobart for  Noah's anniversary, and he decided to come down as well. They arrived the night before we left and were staying for a couple of nights to spend some time with my cousin who was also going down.  It was fun having them stay at the same hotel.  Kobe LOVED having his cousins to hang out and swim with. 

From our hotel room you could see the Royal Hobart Hospital which is where Noah and also Dad passed away.  It didn't make me feel sad, but more grateful for the love and care that the doctors and nurses showed them and us during that time. 

It was lovely to have some fun together in Hobart and to catch up friends and family and especially Jay.   Thanks Mum for this lovely photo of us. 

My life today is so different to what it was nine years ago. After Noah passed away Aaron and I didn’t know what to do with all the time we suddenly seemed to have. For ten years our lives were dedicated to helping him be as happy and healthy as possible, and suddenly we felt like we had nothing to do, despite having three other boys who needed us.

Time is such a strange thing. I’m grateful that time has helped me to learn how to cope with the waves of grief which always come. Other times I’m angry that time just keeps going on, and I’m sad that I’m forgetting how it felt to hold him and kiss his chubby cheeks.

I still feel like there’s a hole in my heart that can never be filled completely.

We try to fill that hole by creating new happy memories and it helps for a little while, but I always feel like a huge piece of me is missing.

I’m also grateful to feel that hole because  it reminds me of how lucky I was to be his mum.  It reminds me of a time when I was at my happiest, despite being physically and mentally exhausted. Noah gave us back more than we could ever give him and I would do it all over again if I could. 

Tasman Island Cruise

We had already planned our trip to Hobart for Noah's anniversary, and were lucky enough to score some travel vouchers from the Tasmanian government, in the second round of vouchers offered.  Because we got the vouchers I ended up booking an extra night of accommodation and decided to lash out and use the vouchers towards a Pennicott Tasman Island Cruise. 

We did the Bruny Island cruise years ago and I didn't think we'd do another one as they are pretty expensive, so I was so excited that the company was offering a great discount to get people booking as well as a voucher from the government to go towards it.  It definitely got me in! I kept my eye on the weather forecast and booked for a day that said it would be fine (a LOT of rain was coming later in the week). 

Mum came down to Hobart with us to stay with my brother Jared and sister in law Becky and their family for a couple of nights. so she also came on the cruise with us (she was also lucky to be able get a travel voucher as well!).   I asked Jay if he wanted to come, but he had too much to do for Uni. 

While we were waiting to get onto the boat, the skipper told us that you would feel everything a lot more if you sat at the front.  I looked at the boys and they both straight away said they wanted to sit in the front. Everyone was given huge waterproof coats to wear. 
There were three boats which went out and they said there were two more going in the afternoon, and they don't usually do afternoon cruises until December. It was good to hear that they're so busy.  They offered everyone ginger tablets before we left (which we all took) and gave us some tips about how to avoid getting seasick (including not getting over heated and standing up whenever the boat stopped). The first stop was at the Tasman Arch which we had seen the day before, from the top. (I’ve posted videos on this post, but you can only see them if you ‘view web version’ which is an option at the bottom of the main page when you open up my blog on your phone). 

  


We then sailed up to a cave and were so excited that the boat sailed right up inside. 

On each of the cruises is a tour guide who gave us information as we went to different spots. 

The coastline from the water was just as incredible as from above.  It was incredible to see a huge waterfall rushing down one of the huge cliffs, into the sea. 

The skipper thought he'd have some fun at the waterfall and took the boat right under it. Because we were up the front the boys copped lots of splashes, but they loved it. 
The scenery got even more spectacular as we travelled further south. 
 As we headed behind these cliffs we finally saw some seals sunning themselves on the rocks. It was hard to spot them as they were very camouflaged at first (it's still hard to see them in the photo below).



We could see people at the lookout on top of these cliffs at Cape Huay. 




As we got closer to Tasman Island there were thousands of shearwater birds everywhere.  The guide came up the front and told us that it's a sign that whales are around because they feed on krill, just like the whales. 

We ended up seeing three whales but they weren't very close, so I wasn't able to get any good photos or videos of them. The shearwaters were incredible. 
Right near Tasman Island we came across a huge pod of dolphins. They were so beautiful and loved playing around near the boats.  
The skipped told us that we were very lucky that day, as we could do a one way trip from Eaglehawk Neck to Port Arthur, as the weather was so good. Often they will travel to Tasman Island and then have to turn around and go back to Eaglehawk Neck and catch the buses back to Port Arthur.  They did warn us that it can get a little rough as we sail in the Southern Ocean.

Kobe was busting to go to the loo just before we got to Tasman Island and the guide told him to hurry up and use the toilet,  because it was about to get rough.  He cracked us up when he came back to his seat and he told us how bumpy it was on the toilet.  Luckily he went before we hit the Southern Ocean as it definitely got rough. They kept telling us to make sure we had our seatbelts on and to make sure they were tight! 

We were laughing so much that I was crying.  With every huge wave we went over, there was a huge scream from everyone on the boat including us. I wasn't really scared because I knew they wouldn't have taken us there if it wasn't safe, but I kept saying my anxiety was going through the roof! 
At one stage Kobe started freaking out and kept yelling 'it's tipping, it's tipping!' which made us laugh even more. We had so much fun and I haven't laughed that much in a long time. 

As we came into the bay near Port Arthur the swell subsided and Kobe stopped freaking out. 
It was nice to just be able to walk back to our car instead of catching the buses back.  We had such an amazing time and is definitely one of my favourite things I've ever done.  We were so lucky to have amazing weather as it poured the next day.  I'm sure Noah was looking over us and making sure we had an amazing time, on a hard week. 

Port Arthur

The anniversary of Noah's death always falls in the school holidays between term 3 and term 4.  This year it is 9 years since he passed away which is hard to believe, especially because we've almost had as many years without him, as what we had with him.  

I often find that the lead up to anniversaries can be harder than the actual day, so I've always tried to do something fun with the boys during this week or on the day of his anniversary.  The boys even ask me now if we are going to do something special on his anniversary.  

I decided to go to Hobart for a few nights this time as we would be able to catch up with Jalen, and there's always lots of different things to do down there.  We hadn't been to Port Arthur since 2013 and the boys could hardly remember it, so I thought it would be good to go back there. Jay didn't come as he was too busy with Uni and the other two weren't overly keen to go, but I promised them that they would enjoy it, and would find it really interesting especially since they've learnt about it at school. I'd also kept my eyes on the weather forecast and knew that it would be a beautiful spring day (after a day of pouring rain). 

We got there early and I was surprised that it was really busy, as I wasn't sure how it would because of Covid. When you pay and get your entry ticket, each person is also given a playing card.  On the card is a picture of one of the convicts which were sent to Port Arthur.  You then have to find the draw which correlates with your card and inside is information about that convict.  It also tells you what part of Port Arthur they spent time at, and you can find a sign about them as you walk around.


Our entry ticket had our time for our guided tour and cruise on it, so we went to look at the church and cottages near it while we waited for our tour time. The church is always my favourite part. 







The walking tour doesn't really go around the whole area, but you just move closer to different parts as the guide gives information about it.  I always like doing the tour as you learn so much more, than you would just walking around yourself. 
It's such a beautiful place, so it's hard to imagine its history as a convict site and what went on there. 

We enjoyed the cruise and the commentary from one of the tour guides on there.  He commented that they were all so happy to have crowds back at Port Arthur, and that even just a week ago they would only have a couple of people on the cruise.  As we were leaving the cruise he reminded us that our tickets mean we can come back any time within the next two years, and to make the most of it as it's probably going to be the only time in history where Tasmanians are the only ones visiting.  Usually it is full of international tourists as well as tourists from the mainland. 

After the walking tour and cruise we headed to the penitentiary. 








The boys couldn't resist going up to the pulpit in the separate prison. The boys loved visiting the site and found it very interesting,  as I knew they would.  
There's so much to see and we could've spent a lot longer there, but we'd had enough after four hours.
On the drive back to Hobart we stopped at the Tasman Arch and Tesselated Pavement. 
The coastline is so beautiful.
We had such a lovely day and were so lucky with the weather. 

We haven't been able to travel because of Covid this year, and as much as I love traveling to the mainland I've actually loved just slowing down this year and seeing parts of Tasmania. We live in such a beautiful part of the world and it's been nice to be able to appreciate it more than usual this year. 
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