Deja Vu

Driving to the cemetery for Aaron's burial was the strangest feeling.  We had just done the same thing over three months ago to bury Noah's body and it was hard to believe what we were actually doing.    It was just crazy to see Aaron's name on the sign this time.

 It's crazy to think that just a couple of months ago Aaron and I were visiting Noah's grave together and said how awful it would be to have to visit a grave in the 'dirt patch' as it's the newest part of the cemetery and doesn't have any grass sown yet.  The good thing about it though is that his grave is so close to Noah's.


A beautiful lady Nicole had asked local florists if anyone was able to donate flowers for Aaron's funeral. We were overwhelmed with so many beautiful flowers from different florists around town, and it was lovely to have so many beautiful roses to use at the cemetery.

I knew we had to do a balloon release like with Noah, and of course the choice of colours had to be Hawthorn. 

Each of my brothers and two brother in laws - Alex and Ashley and Aaron's Dad were the pall bearers.

Our Bishop and friend from church Corey Bailey dedicated his grave, while the casket was being lowered.

Kobe made everyone smile when he kept saying 'Here he goes! Going down, down, down, down down! Now he's in Heaven!'.

Straight after the casket was lowered we released the balloons. It was so different to Noah's balloon release. When we did it at Noah's burial all the kids yelled 'Bye Noah' with happy voices like they knew how happy he must've been.  With Aaron's everyone was just so quiet as we released them. Everyone just stood around his grave in silence for a very long time, still not really believing what was happening.  

 

Everything then threw in flowers, Hawks scarves and one of his students even threw in his Hawks tie.

Harri was so strong all day and even made me smile when he looked down into the grave and then put his hands into fists and said 'score Dad!'. I have no idea why he said it, but he obviously thought that his Dad had scored by being where he is right now.

It was just really hard to stand there without Aaron by my side, but I was so grateful for so many amazing friends and family who did all they could to make me feel like I wasn't going through it alone.

Some of Aaron's students had brought along some of their own balloons and asked me if I would like to use them to release at Noah's grave. 


A lot of the people had already moved over to Noah's grave, so we headed over and Kobe and Harri released them.

The mood was a lot lighter over at Noah's grave. It's hard to describe but a lot of the feelings of grief that I had after Noah passing have now gone, and been taken over with just happy thoughts of where he is and what he can now do. I still miss him terribly every single minute of every day, but the feelings I now have are consumed with thoughts of Aaron and what has happened. It's so hard to grieve for both of them at the same time, especially as the situations are so different.  I don't think my mind and body is letting me grieve for both of them together, because if I did then I don't think I could handle it. I know it's going to take a very long time before I can sort through my feelings about both of them passing away so close to each other and at all. 

Harri and Kobe had everyone laughing while I was kneeling at Noah's grave as they decided they were going to make me into a 'rock star' and tease up my hair.  Thank goodness for my crazy boys who know how to lighten the mood when it's needed.

It was nice for Jay to have his friend Rani with him and they made me laugh by their craziness. I'm so glad they are going to high school together this year as I know Jay needs good friends to help him through the hard days ahead.

 

The whole day just seems like a dream now, and we're still not really believing it's real.