Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Time Alone

During the week I spent some time talking to a child psychologist about the best way to help Harri at the moment, as he's still having a very hard time since Noah passed away.  After talking lots she said to me that she felt it was important for Aaron and I to spend more time together without the boys, to sort through our own emotions and grief as it can be hard to do when we are dealing with the boys at the same time.

I mentioned this in talking to Noah's old school teacher today, and straight away she said 'that's easy! I can babysit for you! What about next week!?'.  I told her we were fine and had lots of offers of babysitters, but she said 'I know that, but I would love to and it's easy for me to help' so she started to work out a night to do it. She then said 'okay what about tonight!?'.  I had texted Aaron to see if he was keen and ten minutes later it was all set up.

When I picked up the boys from school Jay jumped in the car and said 'Harri said Miss Ws is babysitting us tonight!?'.  I asked him how he knew and she had told him at school and he was so excited about it.  Jay had her as a teacher three years ago and still talks about how much he loved being in her class, so he thought it was cool that she was coming around.  He said that his best friend heard she was coming to babysit and said 'oh wow - that's awkward' which made us laugh as most grade 6 boys wouldn't want to hang with their teacher from school, but he was really looking forward to it as they like a lot of the same things.

When she arrived she kept telling the boys to call her by her first name which Harri did, but Kobe kept pointing at her saying 'no you're Miss Ws!'.  Aaron and I 'enjoyed' a few hours out and spent most of the time at the cemetery as the sun set.  A lot of the trees in the children's section are now decorated with Christmas decorations.

We were pleasantly surprised to find a gorgeous new monkey soft toy up there and more decorations on his tree.   Thank you to whoever put them up there. It meant a lot to us to know that someone had cared so much to do something so special.

We had actually never been up there on our own without the boys, so it was really nice to just sit and watch the sunset as we talked (and cried) together.  I felt like I just wanted a blanket and pillow and could've layed there all night.

We recently found out that the little grave next to Noah's belongs to a three year old boy who passed away from heart failure after not being able to get a transplant in time. It's so sad to know that he could've been given a chance to have a healthier and longer life if he could've had a heart in time.  Before Noah passed away we talked to the doctors about donating his organs, but there was nothing that could really be donated. It's such a hard thing to know that for someone to be given the chance at a healthier life, that someone else has to pass away, but it's also amazing to know they have given someone else that opportunity.  I'm sad that the little boy Tom didn't have that chance.

We spent a long time walking around the cemetery and headed off just before it got dark.  I guess it's not exactly anyone's idea of a hot date, but to us it was really nice to just get out on our own and be able to spend some quiet time sitting at Noah's grave without having to worry about what the boys were doing, or whether they had enough of sitting there.

We found Aaron's sister's plaque and rose bush before we left.  We plan on taking the boys there next time they come up with us as they haven't seen it since they were little.

The boys had a lovely night at home and all behaved. I think the threat that Miss Ws would put them in time out at school the next day if they played up worked! ;)


  1. I think it sounds like the perfect way for you guys to spend an evening! Exactly what the doctor ordered!

  2. What a darling teacher! I adore teachers that aren't just abort what happens from 9-3 but take a genuine interest in the kids and their families.
    PS hears hoping the psychologist can help ease the heartbreak Harri feels.

  3. Good for you for getting out together - alone. It's GREAT! I think the cemetery is a lovely place to go and be together. Makes me sad about Tom too. I wanted to donate Ben's organs as well but the Dr.'s said the same thing - couldn't. What happened to Aaron's sister?

  4. Hey Lisa, I love the way you express yourself. I read your blog after nightshift this morning and it made me happy and sad all at once. Very sad for your unimaginable loss but happy that you have the support of friends. He was a special little man surrounded by a special family! X

  5. Very beautiful pics and how beautiful of Miss W. You sure she doesn't want to come teach out at Westbury? ;)

  6. Oh Lisa, your pictures are breathtaking. I'm so glad you got some alone time in such a special place...


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