Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Looking but not feeling like Christmas

The last few years we have put up our Christmas tree up on the Saturday of the Christmas parade.  Because we were away in Hobart on Saturday, we decided to put it up on Sunday.  The boys were excited to do it as always.

 Kobe was very creative and made his own little Christmas tree.

Each of the boys get a new decoration every year which we write their name and the year on. Harri kept asking if he could put Noah's decorations up for him as he searched through the boxes for all of his and Noah's decorations. 

The boys had lots of fun doing it, but Aaron and I weren't into it at all this year.  I would've been happy to just have waited for a couple of weeks to put it up, which is NOT like me at all, as I'm always begging Aaron to let me put it up early.
Thank you Heidi for this beautiful decoration.

Although Noah never physically helped put up the tree, I just wanted things to be the same as other years, with him snoozing away on the couch while we all put the decorations up.  I tried to hide the tears streaming down my face from the boys a few times, and just tried to make it as fun as possible for them.  Even Aaron who said he wanted to put it up, said he felt like throwing it outside by the end of it.  As much as we know where Noah is and will be with him again, it's still so hard as we try to do all the usual family things without him. I really wouldn't mind skipping Christmas all together this year. 

I'm not sure Christmas will ever feel the same again, but I'm glad we know the true meaning of Christmas.

We received these beautiful angel decorations from a friend after Noah passed away.

I just wish we could skip all of December this year, but we are hoping that we can keep things as happy as possible for the boys sake.  They are very excited for Christmas which is really nice. 


  1. Your tree and decorations are just beautiful. There are times in life when things are not the same, and somehow you have to go on, and yet you don't want to go on. There are no words that can change it or make it better. I just pray that Heavenly Father will bless you and your family with peace and love during this special season of the year. Noah will be with you in spirit if not in person. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Gaahhhh.

    I love you all, and I'm sorry that you hurt so much. I wish there was something I could do, and I know Christmas (this one and all of them) will be so weird without Noah. Look for the magic of Christmas, and that's where he'll be. xo

  3. Oh Lisa, I am so sorry that it is so hard... I'm sure it's hard to celebrate when you miss your sweet boy so much... I'll be praying that you will feel Noah close to you this holiday season.

  4. Lisa, you are in our prayers during this Christmas season. Hugs

  5. send the kids over to do mine...i have been really sick ..Kelv and i are attempting to do it today and tomorrow ...maybe..
    just love all your decorations...such beautiful memories...even though touched with tears...

  6. I know that feeling, but something that helps me is to know that Ben would not want me to be unhappy...I know that Noah doesn't want you to be unhappy either. Doesn't mean it's not hard. I love you guys!


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