Where Noah Is

At the moment I like being home a lot, because it's where I feel the closest to Noah as there are lots of memories of him here. I feel like home is where he is the most, but I actually also like going up to his grave more than I thought I would.  I don't feel like it's a place to go to be with him, but it's actually a really beautiful place and knowing his body is here makes me want to just sit up there and think. 

Kobe and I usually go up there once a week together while the boys and Aaron are at school, but we also try to go up there once a week as a family as well.  I came across these 'old' photos of us visiting Noah's grave on the computer, from just the week or two after the funeral.  This one was taken before we took Chrish to the airport to go back to Sydney. 

I'm so grateful that the cemetery is so close to home.  It's nice to have a choice to go and visit whenever we want to, and I actually find I'm driving past the cemetery at least every couple of days and am thinking about him constantly as I drive past. It's nice to go up at different times of the day, especially as the sun is starting to set.

Kobe always says it how it is 'Noah is in the hole' and 'Daddy and Chrish put Noah in the hole' (they were pall bearers at the grave as well as my brothers Jared and Eden, but Kobe can just remember that it was Aaron and Chrish that 'put him in the hole' as he saw a photo of it and it reminded him).   I tell him that Noah's body is in the hole and then ask him where else he is, and then he says 'with Heavenly Father'.   It's hard to imagine what he must think about it all.

I'm just so glad that we know we will be a family forever.  Without that I hate to imagine how much harder this would be right now.