A while ago Jalen was walking up our hallway and stopped to look at one of our
family photos which was taken just a month before Noah passed away. I watched him and didn't say anything but next thing I know he is sobbing as he looks at it, and he turned around and said to me 'it's just not fair'.
I agreed with him - it's not fair at all.
I had my phone on me so I pulled it out while he wasn't watching and took a photo. He later realised what I had done and said 'what!? You took a photo of me!?'. I told him that one day he will look back and will see photos like this, and will remember how he was feeling and will realise how much better he feels.
It's hard to imagine that we will ever feel better than we do right now, but I do see that the old Jalen is coming back more and more each day even though Jay can't really see it yet. I know it's going to be a long time before any of us feel back to normal again, because life seems anything but fair right now.
I do hope that one day we will be able to walk past the photos in the hall and not feel so sad as we look at them.
My heart is tender for every one of you for different feelings, tell Jalen that some old last in Utah thinks he is very brave & strong...I pray for you daily...
ReplyDeleteThat should say lady, not last...hehe
DeleteI still remember when my father was killed and sometimes still feel like it's not fair at all ..... You are all amazing with your strength and courage. hugs and love to you all xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's hard on the whole family. No, it isn't fair... but you're all dealing with it well. I can only hope that we cope as well as all of you have done.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to Jalen and you all. No, this whole situation is not fair.
ReplyDeleteTo be so young and have to deal with such loss cannot be easy.
Since learning about your family and the circumstances you've endured, I've prayed for you all and have hope that each day gets better in terms of the hurt easing... Reading about Jalen, knowing that he's had the strength to talk at his brother and father's funeral - and all the other things he has done since then... my goodness! He's such a beautiful boy, and I am just so touched by how he can express himself - even to respond like he did about you taking the photo - and that is to yours and your Husband's credit... You've taught him to express himself well, the darling child clearly feels able to open up and cry when he needs to, and through your posts it seems obvious that his beautiful personality shines... I'm so sorry for his loss, and it isn't fair; with what I've experienced in life and what I now know, God doesn't have us go through stuff we can't handle, and I hope for Jalen, that with his tender, loving heart, that he will be blessed as he grows and be a blessing to others... I'm sure he'd not like it(!!! I have an almost 12 yr old boy) but this stranger wishes she could give him a big hug. God bless you all!... Naomi G.
ReplyDeleteNot fair at all...but so positive to think there will come a time when walking past those photos or sharing a memory will bring a smile not tears xx
ReplyDeletemany hugs and prayers continue for your family Lisa.
ReplyDeleteHe is a strong boy, just as his mother. I am feeling sad for you and you're sons when I see this picture. I'm praying for all of you that one day the sun is shining in you're hearts again.
ReplyDeleteDineke from Holland
I wish Jalen didn't have to know that life isn't fair, especially in the most unfairest way possible. He is like someone else said a credit to you and Aaron. xxx
ReplyDeleteYou are all amazing! Still praying for comfort and peace for your sweet family! Always will be!
ReplyDeleteYou are all amazing! Still praying for comfort and peace for your sweet family! Always will be!
ReplyDeleteSuch a poignant photo. I continue to pray for all of you.
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You and Aaron have raised strong and resilient boys. I am awed by how they have handled the tragedies life has thrown at them at such a young age.
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