Friday, 6 July 2012

How it's Supposed to Be

Today was Aaron's Pop's funeral.  It was a lovely funeral and was run by the same funeral home that did Aaron and Noah's funerals.  I didn't know the funeral directors but the one of them saw me and said 'oh Lisa, you shouldn't have to be at another one of these this year' so she obviously knew me and what had happened.    The boys decided not to come with me as they said it would be too sad to go to another funeral.  They didn't really know Pop very well anyway, but Harri has been very teary all week with it bringing up lots of feelings.  Most days he's had a big cry over anything little, and when I ask him what is wrong he says 'I'm missing Daddy and Noah'.

It was nice to see Aaron's Nan, and I couldn't help but think the whole time that today was how it was supposed to be.  You are supposed to lose your husband when he is 95.  You are supposed to be ready to go.  You are supposed to be an old lady using a walking frame when you farewell your husband after being married for over 75 years.

I couldn't help but think how Aaron should've been one of the pall bearers as well. He shouldn't be six feet under greeting his Pop up there.

It was nice to see Aaron's sister Trudy again who flew down from Melbourne just for the day, and to also catch up with Aaron's nieces and step sister.

 It was also lovely to catch up with Aaron's cousin Tracey and her family.  I feel like I can never repay them for how they helped us to get our garden done, and it was so nice to see them all again.

After the burial I wandered over to Aaron and Noah's graves which are just a stone throw away, and then some of Aaron's family joined me.  It still doesn't seem real and I wonder if it'll ever truly sink in?

 Aaron's Nan has lost her short term memory so I don't think she was really aware as to what was going on.  I asked her if she knew who I was, and she said she knew my face. I told her that I was Aaron's wife and she was so happy when I said that, but then I had a feeling that she didn't really know what had happened.   I think that's probably a good thing, and wish that I could forget what has happened to.

I'm having a day when I'm not feeling so positive about things, and I'm sure that because I'm feeling sick it isn't helping my mental state very much (plus every now and then reality just hits you in the face).    Hopefully in a few days I'll have some energy back.  If it's quiet on here, you know I'm stuck lying on the couch trying to rest up while the boys run rampant! ;) 


  1. Your family has suffered so much loss in such a short time and my heart breaks for you and your boys.
    I hope every day that I am fortunate enough to have 75 yrs with my wonderful husband and that I never have to bury another of my children.
    Thinking of you all ♥

  2. As soon as I started reading your post I started crying ... thinking about how it must feel to lose the one you love before you should. It made me think of my mum and losing my dad after he was killed in an accident when she was only 29 and had 5 young children to raise - Vicki and I being the oldest. It just doesn't seem right. Big Hug to you Lisa .... my thoughts are with you. I just pray you'll be blessed with peace and comfort xoxo

  3. Once you have entered the world of loss and bereavement it seems to follow us for a bit. Three more children that I have known have passed away in the time that Ailish has been gone. When someone unexpectedly passes away as with our kids and Aaron it does a number on our trust that we and those we love are 'safe'. At least it did for me. I'm glad this lovely couple had 75 years together and you are is as it should be.

  4. Thinking of you so much. It's absolutely no wonder you're having some bad days, the emotional impact of going to another funeral, whoever it was for, must have been huge.

    I have been reading your blog since January. I am IN AWE of you and your boys. Really. I can't even imagine what you are going through and you are always so dignified and brave.

    One day at a time.

  5. So many of us around the world are praying for you and your family. I'm sorry to hear about Aaron's Pop. I hope the next bit brings you peace as you regain your health and strength. Wishing I could stop by with cinnamon rolls or take your boys out for a fun day while you rest up!

    Love from USA

  6. I am sorry to hear you had another funeral to attend :( You are right about it being how it should be, even though everyone complains about getting old when it is in fact exactly what 99.99% of us truly want, to live long lives with our loved ones. A difficult contrast with the loss of Aaron.

    I hope you are better soon and your spirit bounces back with your health, take care xoxo

  7. I don't think Trudy and you deserve to go to another funeral for a least another 50 years! I am sad for Aaron's Nan, being without him, but it makes me happy to think of the reunion Aaron and Noah must be having with him, and with Nan and Pop and Daniel. Too many good people are leaving us. Hope your spirits are a little brighter today and that you are feeling better physically.xx

  8. I haven't been on much myself lately, but I think of you ALL.THE.TIME! It's hard not to when I have all of your pictures plastered on my fridge. :) AND all of your cards all over my kitchen. I'm sorry you are not feeling well and that you are having some hard days right now. I wish I could take you to the lake. It's such great therapy. I love you Lisa! I hope you know that. <3

  9. Sorry to read of your latest loss. But yes, that is how one should lose their husband. After a life well lived.

    I am so sorry you did not get that. Seems so unfair you have to go through so much in such a short amount of time.

    Hugs to you and the boys. Tell them to take it easy on Mum, she needs a few days rest.

  10. It's understandable that this funeral would pull up so many feelings for all of you. Healing is an up and down journey, it seems.

    Be gentle with yourself.


  11. that must have been difficult Lisa. Sending you lots of love xxx

  12. Thinking of you. When I came upon the last picture, my first reaction was "those are angel wings". The shadow of the tree, sure looks like a guardian angel hovering over your loved ones.
    Praying for brighter days for you and your boys.


We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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