2 Months

It's amazing how fast the last two months have gone. Before now the longest that Aaron and I had spent apart was two nights.  It's hard to believe that it's now been two months since he was here.

We went away for the weekend to a beautiful spot with some of my extended family, but unfortunately I was sick most of the weekend and felt pretty crappy the whole time.  I woke up this morning and still felt sick, but thought I'd be okay to go to work. I felt pretty yuck all day and was glad when it was time to leave, and had a lovely surprise when I walked out to my car after work and there was Simone, Jonty and Flynn. 

I was shocked to see them, but then in a lot of ways I wasn't either.  I feel bad now that I didn't make more of a fuss that she was there, but I was just feeling so horrible from being sick that I probably didn't seem that enthusiastic.  Sorry Simone!

She was there with tea for me as she knew I was feeling sick, and flowers which were wrapped in a bow of brown and gold (for Hawthorn of course), because she knew that it today was two months since Aaron had passed away, and that it would be on my mind all day. 

I have many amazing friends, but Simone is one who just seems to know what to say, do and be.  She knows when to give you space, and when to be there, and it was so nice to see her today. 

The boys didn't realise that it had been two months since Aaron had passed away until I picked them up from school and reminded them.  We decided after tea we would go to the cemetery to release some balloons together, and then get dessert at Maccas.

My brother Jared has been finishing off the final touches around the house and yard to get the house finally finished.  We were excited to see our clothesline had been screened off today (and we had a new gate!) and thought it would be fun to enjoy our new garden by eating tea outside tonight. 

We then headed up to the cemetery and had to park the car at the gates (as it was locked) and walked in to Aaron and Noah's graves.  On the way to the cemetery Kobe kept asking 'why do people go to the cemetery?'.  We reminded him that's where you go to visit the bodies of people who have died and he then said 'they go to hospital and then they die'.  I asked him why he thought that and he said 'Noah went to a 'different' hospital (Hobart) and then he died and then he goes to the cemetery'.  I told him that was right for Noah as he got sick but then we talked about how Daddy wasn't sick and didn't have to go to hospital, but had died when we were on our holiday.  He said 'that's right!' and then talked more about the 'different hospital' and how we stayed at Ronald McDonald House.   It's so hard to know what he really thinks about it all.

I felt very sad this morning when I woke up and knew what the date was, but as the day went on I felt okay (probably helped that I started to feel better as the day went on) about it.  Tonight was nice to go to the cemetery with the boys, rather than it feeling too sad.

Kobe was happy to run in the cemetery to start with.

But just before we got to Noah's and Aaron's graves he decided he'd walked enough and spat it.  He decided to just lay down on the grass and not move another inch.

I went back to tell him to hurry up or Jay would let all the balloons go without him and that made him get up pretty quick.

We went to Aaron's grave first and released a balloon each.

Jay made me laugh as we were walking in. He said 'I love you Mum. You've always been my second favourite parent'.  He knows he'll get a laugh out of me whenever he says that - cheeky boy!

We then headed over to Noah's grave and each released a balloon there too.

Kobe kept jumping over the top of his grave and would say 'me almost tripped on Noah!' and would laugh.

It was nice to finish off the day in a fun way with the boys.  It would've been easy to have stayed in bed all day today, but I'm glad that I was able to go to work and felt better as the day went on.  The days are getting harder and sadder as time goes on and things sink in more, but I'm glad that the boys keep me going, and even make me laugh on hard days like today.