We always tried to do something special and fun together though so this year felt so strange to know how different things are. Yesterday was a really hard day. It always seems the lead up to an anniversary or birthday is worse than the actual day and that was definitely the case again. I woke up this morning and was grateful that Aaron's birthday was on Sunday as it meant I got lots of hugs at church and was around lots of people for most of the day, which always makes things easier.
A few weeks ago my friend Lisa asked if I had anything planned for his birthday. She wanted to invite us around for tea, but I had actually thought that I would like to go to the Punchbowl for a BBQ together and wanted to invite my friend Simone and her family too, but hadn't asked them yet because I knew how close it is to Christmas and knew how busy everyone is at this time of year.
Luckily everyone was keen, so after church we went to the Punchbowl. The kids had a great time playing cricket, footy and throwing a frisbee around (thanks Alison for the great present!). I couldn't resist joining in on playing frisbee. There were a few fights about whose turn it was!
Aaron would've been loving Hallie in her Hawks gear.
Eliza and Phebe are two of the most beautiful girls you will ever meet - inside and out. Aaron and I used to babysit Phebe when she was a baby and he always loved hanging out with them too.
They weren't the only ones taking photos of themselves. We couldn't resist a shot together too, but I'm yet to see the finished product. I'm a bit scared too!
feeling really sad and angry all the time. He's definitely back in the angry stage because his emotions are out of control. He has gone from being a beautiful placid little boy to yelling, kicking, punching, running away, and not listening to anything that I say again. It's really hard and I find myself losing my patience with him all the time, but then he can switch back to the beautiful little boy that he is deep down again. Tonight was no exception. I look forward to when his moods are more stable and he doesn't fly off the handle as much. I hate that he is so angry and sad and it breaks my heart when he says 'I'm missing Daddy so much'.
At the park Kobe said that 'this is Daddy's best birthday party ever!'.
We visited Noah's grave first.
Kobe said he loved it when he went in the dodgem cars with him and he got to run into him in the car.
Lisa loved that he didn't take life seriously and was funny.
Sarra loved that he went for the hawks.
Jalen loved everything about him.Eliza loved that he would just go and talk to anyone and was funny.
Gary loved that he would 'give the forks' to people (that made me laugh!).
Phebe said he gave good advice.
Simone said she loved how he built people up with humour.Oliver and Hallie both loved that he went for the Hawks.
Harri loved that he watched Friday night football with him (and he started to cry after he told us that and said how much he misses watching it with him) and I said he was a good dad and could've said a lot more of course, but with Harri crying I wasn't keen on starting as well.
What I thought would be a very hard day, was actually a lot nicer than I imagined and it was nice to have some fun together. I think Aaron would've been glad to see that we were doing things that he loved and smiling and laughing even though we miss him so much.
It has been so lovely to read all the birthday messages on his Facebook wall today, mostly from students who loved him. I loved Jalen's message that he wrote today and am proud of him as I know he is trying hard at the moment to deal with everything in the past year, the best that he can. I know that Aaron is really proud of him too.
here, here, here, here and here. I'm so glad I started my blog all those years ago.