Sunday, 23 December 2012

Daddy's best birthday party ever!

There are so many anniversaries etc that come up between Aaron and Noah and this month is full of them.   It's probably the hardest month with it being Christmas, but today would've also have been Aaron's 40th birthday.   Aaron loved having his birthday close to Christmas because he said everyone was always in a good mood because Christmas was just a couple of days away.   I felt for him though because it was too close to Christmas, so often it was just a blur of trying to get ready for Christmas and felt like such a pain to have a birthday thrown in as well.

We always tried to do something special and fun together though so this year felt so strange to know how different things are.  Yesterday was a really hard day.  It always seems the lead up to an anniversary or birthday is worse than the actual day and that was definitely the case again. I woke up this morning and was grateful that Aaron's birthday was on Sunday as it meant I got lots of hugs at church and was around lots of people for most of the day, which always makes things easier.

A few weeks ago my friend Lisa asked if I had anything planned for his birthday.  She wanted to invite us around for tea, but I had actually thought that I would like to go to the Punchbowl for a BBQ together and wanted to invite my friend Simone and her family too, but hadn't asked them yet because I knew how close it is to Christmas and knew how busy everyone is at this time of year.

Luckily everyone was keen, so after church we went to the Punchbowl.  The kids had a great time playing cricket, footy and throwing a frisbee around (thanks Alison for the great present!).   I couldn't resist joining in on playing frisbee. There were a few fights about whose turn it was!

Aaron would've been loving Hallie in her Hawks gear.

 Harri being Harri :)
Gaz was the only guy with us since Simon had to work and took on BBQ duties - thanks Gaz!
Aaron's favourite drink was Pepsi and we hardly ever drink it anymore, but I went out and got some especially for the day.

Eliza and Phebe are two of the most beautiful girls you will ever meet - inside and out.  Aaron and I used to babysit Phebe when she was a baby and he always loved hanging out with them too. 

I was loving watching them take photos together on Phebe's iPod, and loved seeing the finished product later tonight on Facebook.

They weren't the only ones taking photos of themselves.  We couldn't resist a shot together too, but I'm yet to see the finished product.  I'm a bit scared too! 

It was such a beautiful warm night.  At 9 pm it was still 23 degrees (celcius).

Aaron would've loved Sarra's hat too!

Kobe is testing me big time at the moment. He settled down for a little while after feeling really sad and angry all the time.  He's definitely back in the angry stage because his emotions are out of control.  He has gone from being a beautiful placid little boy to yelling, kicking, punching, running away, and not listening to anything that I say again. It's really hard and I find myself losing my patience with him all the time, but then he can switch back to the beautiful little boy that he is deep down again.  Tonight was no exception.  I look forward to when his moods are more stable and he doesn't fly off the handle as much.  I hate that he is so angry and sad and it breaks my heart when he says 'I'm missing Daddy so much'.

At the park Kobe said that 'this is Daddy's best birthday party ever!'. 

After tea and a play at the park we went to the cemetery together.  It was late so the gates were locked so we had to walk in. 

We visited Noah's grave first.

Near Aaron's grave were some people visiting another grave so we were lucky to grab one of the guys to take a photo of us all together.

It made me smile to see a can of Pepsi at Aaron's grave when we got there. I have no doubt it was from his friend Kristy who he worked with.

Lisa brought a bottle of Pepsi and cups so we could have a toast around Aaron's grave. I bet he was smiling down as he saw what we were up to.

It was actually the first time EVER that Simone had tasted Pepsi. She had talked all week about how she was going to taste it for the first time on Aaron's birthday.   I couldn't stop laughing as she tried it as she wasn't too keen on it and said it tasted a bit like medicine.

Simone suggested that we all go around the circle and say something that we loved about Aaron.  It was nice to hear all the things every one said.

Eden said (with some encouragement from me!) that he was handsome.
Kobe said he loved it when he went in the dodgem cars with him and he got to run into him in the car. 
Lisa loved that he didn't take life seriously and was funny.
Sarra loved that he went for the hawks.
Jalen loved everything about him.
Eliza loved that he would just go and talk to anyone and was funny.
Gary loved that he would 'give the forks' to people (that made me laugh!).
Phebe said he gave good advice.
Simone said she loved how he built people up with humour.
Oliver and Hallie both loved that he went for the Hawks.
Harri loved that he watched Friday night football with him (and he started to cry after he told us that and said how much he misses watching it with him) and I said he was a good dad and could've said a lot more of course, but with Harri crying I wasn't keen on starting as well. 

What I thought would be a very hard day, was actually a lot nicer than I imagined and it was nice to have some fun together. I think Aaron would've been glad to see that we were doing things that he loved and smiling and laughing even though we miss him so much. 

It has been so lovely to read all the birthday messages on his Facebook wall today, mostly from students who loved him.  I loved Jalen's message that he wrote today and am proud of him as I know he is trying hard at the moment to deal with everything in the past year, the best that he can.   I know that Aaron is really proud of him too. 

Aaron's past birthday posts are here, here, here, here and here.  I'm so glad I started my blog all those years ago.


  1. Beautiful story, Lisa. Glad you had a fun Birthday Day!! Merry Christmas, too.

  2. Happy Birthday to Aaron! Again humbled by how you live with your grief and honour Noah and Aaron, you do all your boys proud xx

  3. A perfect birthday celebration! So glad the day was bearable with your beautiful friends. I'm all teary now, love you guys so much! xx

  4. I just happened to stumble upon your blog by following other links on blogs that I follow, and I must say, I've been deeply immersed in your blog for the past hour or so.

    I cannot even tell you how much my heart breaks for your family for the loss that you've had to deal with, but i also think that it's absolutely wonderful that you continue to celebrate their lives like you do.

    It's encouraging to see that you're still optimistic about life and raising your children, and your whole family will definitely be in my prayers from now on. I hope that you have a beautiful Christmas. (:

  5. Love your smiles and those colourful balloons - that's the way to turn 40! Without the booze but with Pepsi for Simone!! :)

  6. he would have loved that party that is for sure...wonder if they have Pepsi in heaven???xxxxx

  7. beautiful post. you have such awesome friends xx


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