Ten Days Away

My boys and I just got back last night, from a lovely ten day holiday on the Gold Coast in Queensland.  It was a very bitter sweet holiday as we had planned it just a few weeks after Noah passed away, so that we had something to look forward to as a family.    When we went back to visit the ICU we spoke with the lovely doctor who was with us when Noah passed away and he told us how he thought it was important that we take two family holidays together very soon.   He said the first one without Noah would be especially hard, and the second one is often easier. 

Just after Aaron passed away Harri sat there sobbing saying 'but Daddy was coming to the Gold Coast with us, and we were going to have so much fun at the theme parks'.  When he said it, it reminded me of how much we were looking foward to going and my heart sunk even more.  I couldn't imagine going without him, let alone enjoying the holiday without him.

When we booked the tickets we both talked about how it would be fun to have my Mum come with us as she could also have a holiday, but it would also give us the chance to go on some rides together at the theme parks as she could help with the boys.  On our last trip to the Gold Coast it was for Noah's Make a Wish trip and we didn't get to do anything together as one of us had to stay with the boys, while the other one went on the bigger rides.

Mum jumped at the chance to join us, and we also talked my brother Chrish into coming too as we knew we would have lots of fun up there with him.  It's 'funny' now when I look back and see how it worked out.  I'm so glad that Mum and Chrish were originally coming with us as it made it a lot more fun and easier to have them there with us.

The first couple of months after Aaron died the boys were so upset about going on holiday without him, but as it got closer we all started to get excited about it and was really looking forward to it.  I was hoping we could go away and enjoy it as much as we could, even without Noah and Aaron with us and even though I thought about them all the time, we all had a really fun and happy time.

I actually felt sad (and kind of guilty) about leaving for so long and not being able to visit Aaron and Noah's graves. I knew my thinking was irrational and that they wouldn't care, and would be happy that we were going away, but I just felt sad that I was leaving them (or their bodies) for so long.  A lovely friend promised me she would visit them for me, and it was nice to get text messages while I was away with photos from the cemetery after she had been to visit their graves.  It's hard to explain as I know it's 'only' their bodies there and that they aren't really there, but I still like to visit and know that I am close to them.

Even though it was hard to leave, it was also so nice to get away from everything at the moment and just go and have some fun together.


This was the view from our hotel room every morning.  The weather wasn't that great, but it was much warmer than Tassie and most mornings we would wake up to a beautiful sunrise coming up over the ocean.


The boys loved being able to sit out on the balcony to have breakfast.


And we especially loved being able to go swimming in the pool or jump in the spa every day.

It was hard to leave this beautiful view, but we were also very glad to get home.


The last day we were there was actually the best for the weather. It would've been nice to have another ten days so we could've just relaxed on the beach a bit as the whole ten days we were just so busy trying to fit lots of things in.  We had the best time, and it was so nice to just have some fun for ten days, especially after everything that has happened.    We got to meet some special people, catch up with family and had some extra special photos taken on the day that was 8 months since Noah passed away.   There is lots to blog about and lots of highlights from the trip, so I will divide it into different posts.  Stay tuned....