His First Birthday in Heaven

Every day is hard without Aaron and Noah, and it seems that every couple of weeks there is another anniversary or something to celebrate without them being here.   Today was another one of those days, but it was a double whammy as today is Noah's 11th birthday and it is also five months since Aaron passed away.

We knew it would be a harder anniversary than usual with two things at once, so I planned a while back to make it as easy as possible to get through the day.  I remember when Noah was young we met a lovely family in the hospital.  Their daughter passed away from cancer just before Christmas, and her Mum and I kept in contact for a little while after.  She told me that for Christmas that year it was too hard to be home, so they went away for Christmas. At the time I didn't understand it at all and thought it was a bit strange, as I imagined that I would want to be home more than anything if I was in the same situation.  I obviously didn't understand back then how hard things can be, and now know that changing the routine definitely makes things easier.

I talked to the boys about it and how it would be a hard day, and said we should do something different to make things easier.  I asked work for a leave without pay day, and the boys had a couple of days off school and we took off down to Hobart. I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone and be alone with the boys, and was hoping that even though it would be a sad day, that we would have some fun together too. 

We were hoping to catch up again with the lovely doctor who was with us when Noah passed away, but unfortunately he was away this week.  As we drove past the hospital and Ronald McDonald House Harri and Kobe got all excited and kept yelling 'that's where Noah was!'.  Kobe wanted to drive past Ronald McDonald house all the time. I couldn't help but park the car on the street outside the hospital and just look at it for a couple of minutes.  My heart raced as I looked at the entrance we used to always walk in to visit him in the ICU, but I also kind of wanted to go inside to see where he had been.

We stayed at a motel last night and the boys had lots of fun playing in the games room before we went out for tea. 

They were a little bit excited about the dessert buffet - especially the chocolate fountain!

 

Harri and Kobe found a little stage and decided to pull out some dance moves for us.

This morning we were happy to wake up to blue clear skies. It seems that Noah always seems to turn the weather on for us.  It was nice to get lots of lovely text messages and messages on Facebook all day from people who were thinking of us. Noah's lovely past teacher from school sent me a text message with a photo of her kids from her class sitting in Noah's garden at school, remembering him on his birthday yelling 'Noah!'.  

We went and grabbed eleven helium balloons and headed up Mt Wellington to release them.  We were hoping to get to the top, but the roads were closed half way up so we stopped and had a play in the snow.

We were lucky to be able to release the balloons from a lookout with no one else around.

I got a bit teary when I looked down and saw the hospital where he passed away, but felt close to him up on the mountain.

The boys yelled 'happy birthday Noah!' as they let the balloons go. 

We then went to the Aquatic Centre for a couple of hours before heading home tonight.  Jalen had been before but Harri and Kobe hadn't and they absolutely loved it.

We went mid afternoon which was a good time to go as everyone else was at school, so we pretty much had the pool to ourselves.

I was sad at times throughout the day, but most of the day it was just lovely to be with my boys and have some fun.  It was strange not being able to buy Noah birthday presents, so I was so happy to see that the Give Me 5 for Kids telethon was on today. It was perfect timing so I decided to donate the money that I would normally spend on his present to that. It runs until 10.30 pm so if you are a local and are able to donate, it's an awesome cause. All money raised goes to the local children's ward at the hospital.  Noah spent many, many weeks there in his life so I'm sure he was happy that I could donate instead of buying him a birthday present.

Harri said family prayer before bed on Sunday night and said 'we hope that Noah has a happy birthday in Heaven with Daddy and that Daddy is happy in Heaven with him, because he missed him so much and would be happy that they are together now'.  I hope so too Harri.