Red Nose

This was Kobe in Hobart earlier this week, ready for Red Nose Day which is actually today.
  

Every year Red Nose Day day means a lot to me as my brother Daniel died from SIDS in 1981.  I was about the same age as Harri and I only remember a little bit about Daniel, but remember a lot about the day that he passed away and also his funeral.

Since losing a child myself I guess I understand a lot more about what my Mum and Dad went through, but know it was totally different to losing Noah as Daniel just died in his sleep suddenly. It was not expected at all and he was 9 months, which is quite old for a baby to die from SIDS.

Whenever we are out in the car at night Kobe says 'there's Daddy's star!! There's Noah's star! There's Daniel's star!' as I've been talking a lot to them about all the other people that Daddy and Noah would now be with, including my brother Daniel.

If you can support Red Nose Day go to their website or buy a product that you will see at most grocery stores and deparment stores at the moment.  Or else you can upload a photo like Kylie did and Harvey Norman will donate $1 for every photo uploaded. 

Build a Bear Workshop

One of the things that Harri really wanted to do during our trip to Queensland was go to the Build a Bear Workshop and make his own bear.  A friend from school had been there on a trip and had shared her bear with the class, and he talked about it for weeks.  He couldn't wait to get there and was so excited to be able to choose his own bear.

It is the coolest shop where they are able to choose a bear out of a number on the wall, and they then get to help stuff the bear.

You can even record your own voice or put sounds in your bear, but we didn't do that.   Someone had commented on my instagram photos when I took them, that they always take their kids there for their third birthday, and they get to make a bear and they record their cute little three year old voice to put inside the bear, so they always have their young child's voice forever. I thought that was a beautiful idea, and wish we had a shop here in Tasmania so we could've done something like that with all the boys when they were younger.

You then choose which outfit and accessories you want the bear to have.  Harri went straight to the sports section, but as soon as he saw the Ironman outfit he was sold on that one.


 Kobe chose to have a Buzz Lightyear bear and it is pretty cute. 



You can also give your bear a wash (fluff up the fur).


Jalen was quite happy to let Harri and Kobe do it, but then he saw the cool outfits and decided he wanted to make one too.  He decided on the Hulk 'because it was manly!' (he said as he thumped his chest trying to reassure himself that it was okay to make a bear :).

The boys love their bears and it's such a special keepsake from our holiday.  It is a beautiful shop and such a great idea.  It meant so much more to them because they got to create them from scratch.

The Ride Of Your Life

It's that time of the week again when my post goes up on the Time Out For Women website. It's a bit of work to write something each week, but it's been good to get more of my thoughts down.  You can click on the picture below to go to my latest post.

His First Birthday in Heaven

Every day is hard without Aaron and Noah, and it seems that every couple of weeks there is another anniversary or something to celebrate without them being here.   Today was another one of those days, but it was a double whammy as today is Noah's 11th birthday and it is also five months since Aaron passed away.

We knew it would be a harder anniversary than usual with two things at once, so I planned a while back to make it as easy as possible to get through the day.  I remember when Noah was young we met a lovely family in the hospital.  Their daughter passed away from cancer just before Christmas, and her Mum and I kept in contact for a little while after.  She told me that for Christmas that year it was too hard to be home, so they went away for Christmas. At the time I didn't understand it at all and thought it was a bit strange, as I imagined that I would want to be home more than anything if I was in the same situation.  I obviously didn't understand back then how hard things can be, and now know that changing the routine definitely makes things easier.

I talked to the boys about it and how it would be a hard day, and said we should do something different to make things easier.  I asked work for a leave without pay day, and the boys had a couple of days off school and we took off down to Hobart. I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone and be alone with the boys, and was hoping that even though it would be a sad day, that we would have some fun together too. 

We were hoping to catch up again with the lovely doctor who was with us when Noah passed away, but unfortunately he was away this week.  As we drove past the hospital and Ronald McDonald House Harri and Kobe got all excited and kept yelling 'that's where Noah was!'.  Kobe wanted to drive past Ronald McDonald house all the time. I couldn't help but park the car on the street outside the hospital and just look at it for a couple of minutes.  My heart raced as I looked at the entrance we used to always walk in to visit him in the ICU, but I also kind of wanted to go inside to see where he had been.

We stayed at a motel last night and the boys had lots of fun playing in the games room before we went out for tea. 

They were a little bit excited about the dessert buffet - especially the chocolate fountain!

 

Harri and Kobe found a little stage and decided to pull out some dance moves for us.

This morning we were happy to wake up to blue clear skies. It seems that Noah always seems to turn the weather on for us.  It was nice to get lots of lovely text messages and messages on Facebook all day from people who were thinking of us. Noah's lovely past teacher from school sent me a text message with a photo of her kids from her class sitting in Noah's garden at school, remembering him on his birthday yelling 'Noah!'.  

We went and grabbed eleven helium balloons and headed up Mt Wellington to release them.  We were hoping to get to the top, but the roads were closed half way up so we stopped and had a play in the snow.

We were lucky to be able to release the balloons from a lookout with no one else around.

I got a bit teary when I looked down and saw the hospital where he passed away, but felt close to him up on the mountain.

The boys yelled 'happy birthday Noah!' as they let the balloons go. 

We then went to the Aquatic Centre for a couple of hours before heading home tonight.  Jalen had been before but Harri and Kobe hadn't and they absolutely loved it.

We went mid afternoon which was a good time to go as everyone else was at school, so we pretty much had the pool to ourselves.

I was sad at times throughout the day, but most of the day it was just lovely to be with my boys and have some fun.  It was strange not being able to buy Noah birthday presents, so I was so happy to see that the Give Me 5 for Kids telethon was on today. It was perfect timing so I decided to donate the money that I would normally spend on his present to that. It runs until 10.30 pm so if you are a local and are able to donate, it's an awesome cause. All money raised goes to the local children's ward at the hospital.  Noah spent many, many weeks there in his life so I'm sure he was happy that I could donate instead of buying him a birthday present.

Harri said family prayer before bed on Sunday night and said 'we hope that Noah has a happy birthday in Heaven with Daddy and that Daddy is happy in Heaven with him, because he missed him so much and would be happy that they are together now'.  I hope so too Harri.

Australia Zoo

We were so lucky to have been given a free family pass from Australia Zoo on our recent holiday to Queensland.   We weren't sure if we would have time go get up there, as it was an hour and forty five minutes from the Gold Coast, but we decided it would be worth the drive as we heard a lot of good about it.

It was cool to be able to walk around the zoo and touch the animals that the keepers had in different places.

 Kobe was excited to see that they had another 'teacup' type ride like they do at Wiggle World.

He wanted to be our tour guide for the day and wanted to hold the map and decide where we would go next.

Harri and Kobe absolutely loved the Kids zoo section where you could go and pat the animals and feed them. 

Jalen on the other hand is such a city boy (just like his Dad!) and couldn't wait to wash his hands after touching the animals!

 Harri was a bit stoked about the crocodile character and kept wanting to go back for more cuddles.

I couldn't help but feel so sad though about Steve Irwin not being around anymore.  I remember when he died how sad I felt for his wife and kids and wondered how they could cope without him, and wondered how the kids could seem so well adjusted after losing their Dad.  I guess now I realise how when you have no choice but to go through something like that, you just cope the best way you know how. 

 We really enjoyed the show in the Crocoseum.

Jalen and I laughed a lot at the guy who was acting like a bogan, pretending he was bitten by a snake.

 The zoo is absolutely beautiful and so well kept.

The boys especially loved the part where you could go and touch and feed the kangaroos. They were so tame.

 We loved watching the feeding of the crocodiles.

 Mum couldn't resist this photo! :)

 It was a lovely day and definitely worth the drive up, to see such a beautiful zoo.