Saturday, 26 February 2011

"As long as they are healthy"

Tonight I went grocery shopping and had the usual conversation at the checkout with the checkout chick...'how was your day?', 'what have you been up to?'...blah, blah, blah.   She noticed I was buying things that were obviously for a child and said 'how's your little one?' and I said 'he's good, but I've actually got four kids'.

She looked surprised and then asks 'so have you got two of each, or three of one and one of another?'. I laughed and said 'no four boys' to which she just about fell over and then made a comment that I hear so often 'are you going to have another one and try for a girl?'.  It makes me laugh a lot as I'm actually so happy to have four boys and can't even imagine having a girl or even wanting one.

She then made a comment that I also hear quite a lot ...'oh well, as long as they are healthy hey?'

I just smiled and said 'yep' as I really didn't want to embarrass her or make her feel awkward by telling her that I had a son who was disabled.   I know people mean well when they make the comment 'as long as they are healthy' but to be honest, even when they aren't healthy you love them, and I can't say 'even more' as I don't love Noah any more than I love my other boys, but I just love him in a different way - probably more deeply is a better way to explain it.  Having Noah makes you realise know how precious every day is, and he teaches you so much and makes you want to be a better person. 

I know so many people who are wishing that their kids who weren't particularly 'healthy' were still with them right now, or others who haven't been able to have kids at all who would love to be able to love a little one - healthy or not, and lots of people like us who have a child who isn't as healthy as we hoped and dreamt they would be like, but love them so much and probably even more so because of who they are and what they teach us and others.

Having Noah in our lives has brought many wonderful people into our lives as well.  People who are so kind and generous, and without having Noah we never would have met them.

I know that the girl meant nothing by it, but hopefully one day people will see that having any child, healthy or not is a blessing in your life.  Yep it's tough and some days (or weeks) it sucks big time, but if I had the choice I wouldn't go back and change things.  I know that without Noah our boys wouldn't be who they are today, and I'm so glad that they have learnt things that they couldn't have otherwise, if they didn't have Noah as their brother.


  1. Oh that was beautiful Lisa- just beautiful. Thank you.

  2. Hi Lisa - Alison pointed me in the direction of this post. I totally agree with you & understand what you are saying. Actually when I was pregnant I had a conversation with a 6yr old I was Nannying and he asked if I wanted a boy or a girl and I said "I didn't mind, as long as he or she was healthy" & then he said "what if they aren't?" Which was a very good point as I would love that child & made me sure never to say that again!

  3. You're so gracious Lisa. I love your blog more than Nie Nie and C Jane. You're real and authentic, you deserve the accolades and blog awards, it would be so well deserved.

  4. Lisa,
    Your words are amazing. Without loosing a child I would also have said I just want a healthy one. Now I say I just want one born alive and the rest we can work out. Love you blog


  5. i think that is Noah's special mission on this change all our lives ..even if he doesnt have really all that much input into our lives..once you meet that cheeky, mostly sleepy(the last few times i have seen him) little man...your life is changed forever....Love ya Noah..missed giving you a Nettie kiss today.

  6. I have learned so much from Noah. :) He's the best. :)


  7. really beautiful! i love when you write about Noah. I can see what you mean when you say, you dont love him more, just differently!
    very touching post x

  8. Having met Noah a few times and watching you and your family interact with him, what I saw was not an unhealthy child, but a child that had been cared for over and beyond by loving parents; and that considering his medical condition, he literally glowed with a health and strength that the doctors told you he should have lost long ago. He's a credit to all of you - family, carers, and health professionals. x

  9. All your kids are awesome! and you are so blessed to have them. I'm sure that Noah's extra needs are hard work some times but i can see it in your eyes that its worth it!!

  10. p.s whats this about blog awards? if there IS one you def. own it! i mean have they never heard of the blogerazzi? Just saying!

  11. I know - who has NOT heard of the blogerazzi hey Collette!? ;) :)

  12. AMEN and AMEN. I always felt so privileged to have Ben and I know my kids are amazing because of that experience. I would do it over and over again.

  13. Noah has such a sweet, gentle spirit and my life has been blessed in knowing him.
    You guys do an amazing job. <3


We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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