Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Our 'Old' House

When our 'old' house was going to go on the market, I knew it would be photographed for the internet and newspaper, so I decided to take down all our personal family photos.   I just felt a bit funny about having our family photos up for strangers to see. I know that sounds weird since I have a blog, but I just didn't feel comfortable having strangers walk through our house, being able to actually see who we were by looking at our photos.

I left up other pictures, but the house just didn't feel the same.  When I took them all down it felt awful.  Jay and I kept commenting about how horrible the house felt, as we had no reminders of Aaron and Noah anywhere.  It made us just feel really sad.  We had so many in our hallway and all over the house, so once I took them all down I decided it wasn't worth it to put them all back up again, as we would be having open homes and inspections for a while.
I hoped that it wouldn't take long to sell the house, because I missed having our family photos up so much. I only left up Aaron's Oasis concert poster and his signed Hawthorn team poster. 
I sent a link to my family and a few friends when our house went up on the internet, and everyone kept commenting that they'd never seen it so clean before!  My house is usually 'lived in' for sure, so it was nice to have it so tidy just for an hour or two :)
Oh how I miss my big kitchen with lots of storage! I also miss having a kitchen bench where the boys can sit up on the stools and chat to me while I'm cooking or while they're eating their breakfast.

I especially miss our bathroom with the big spa bath.  It was perfect for Noah and made our life so much easier as we could hoist him into the bath and wheel him straight into the shower on his shower chair. When Noah wasn't hogging it, I also loved to jump in.

Thank you again S Group for taking such lovely photos of our 'old' house which was once so special to us.

We are really enjoying our new house, but miss having everything brand new like at our old house.  I definitely don't miss the feelings that I had when I was there in the last year or so though.  It feels so good to enjoy going and being home again.  My heart is still empty and broken, but it doesn't feel as heavy now. 

I don't have to walk into the bathroom anymore and imagine and remember Noah having a shower in his shower chair.

I don't have to walk into the lounge room and look at the spot where Noah would lie on his mattress on the floor every afternoon.

I don't have to go to bed every night in our old bedroom every night, where I couldn't sleep for hours and would lay awake wishing I could hear Aaron and Noah's snoring.  I still wish I could hear them in my bedroom snoring, but it's so different now that I'm sleeping in a new bedroom - one that they haven't been in before.  I now fall asleep and sleep most of the night.

I don't have to look at the marks on the wall where Noah's wheelchair had scraped it. 

I love having reminders of Aaron and Noah, but not when I feel smothered by them because the reminders of them are too overwhelming when they are in your face all day, every day. I'm glad that our 'old' house is now someone else's new house, and know that Aaron and Noah are still with us no matter where we go.


  1. As I read your words I feel the sadness that is still there for you. There are times when we just have to do what is right for us in order to move forward and best of all is recognising that that is what we need to do. You are a strong and courageous woman Lisa. I never tire of reading your blog. Thank you as always for your honesty.

  2. Thank you for being so realistic about the challenges you face. Too often we just want to move on and make life perfect right away. It doesn't work that way!
    Your old home was gorgeous but I'm proud of you for making a much needed move. Keep up the good work Lisa!

  3. It sounds like the old house had more physical reminders of them and that can make one feel sick and anxious I imagine. I'm glad that new home has brought more happiness to your days.

  4. I just read this article at meridian, don't know if you saw it? Felt to share
    The old house looks gorgeous ! Good job on building it!

  5. What a great post. So lovely and heartfelt.

    Best to you and your family,
    Jennifer in Napa, Calif.

  6. I understand your feelings after loosing my Dad my Mum stayed in our family home for 4 years it was such a relief to sell and for her to move cause every room brought it all back. Hoping you have loads of happy memories in your new place!

  7. You are so very clever in the way you express your positive attitude and the joy you have in your life, while still being able to share your grief and sadness. You write beautifully. I have 3 boys- my oldest son has multiple disabilities and my youngest son is a selective mute- despite the trails that come with this I have been told repeatedly that after reading my blog people feel jealous of my lovely life. It is a lovely life and I am grateful for all that I have, but I am not very good at expressing the realities. it can be incredibly trying and difficult and I shall endeavour to speak with the honesty that you do while still sharing my loves and joys.
    You are an inspiration xxx

  8. Great house, but it sounds like you made the right move for you.


  9. Your "old" house and the grounds are beautiful. Now someone else will enjoy it where you had beautiful memories. Now you will be making new memories in your "new to you" house, and I am glad that you are feeling more at peace with everything. You are an amazing young woman and you speak from your heart.


We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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