This Christmas was spread over two days, which was actually a nice way to do it. Because my sister Nicki and her family travel to Hobart on Christmas Day, we decided it would be better to have our big family Christmas on Christmas Eve so we could relax and not have to rush.
On Christmas Eve morning we went to visit Aaron's Dad and Step Mum, Carrol to exchange presents. I gave Aaron's Dad a couple of special photos in frames of Aaron. One was when he was dressed up as the Hawthorn mascot, Hawka (unfortunately I'm not allowed to share any pics of Aaron in the suit with the Hawka head off because that's what you agree to when you are the mascot) and one was of Aaron's Dad, sister Trudy and Aaron together which was taken about 7 years ago. His Dad was very teary and said that he loved them.
We hadn't told any of the family and had a great time playing it up all week that he was going to be home on his own for Christmas. I would write on his Facebook wall, saying how I wished he was coming home for Christmas and my Mum and siblings would jump in saying they wished he was coming too. On the way out to see my family with him he posted an old pic of him 'working' on his wall and tagged all my family in it. We were having a great laugh!
We drove out to my brother Eden's house for our family Christmas Eve dinner and loved surprising everyone! Mum cracked me up when she yelled 'I was feeling sorry for you, you idiot!' and my brother Eden said he knew he was coming all along, but I doubt it :)
The boys love having him home. We wish he would just move down.
We had a huge feast of chicken and pork with heaps of veggies and yummy desserts.
I think seeing Aaron's Dad get teary in the morning, set me up for the day, as I then felt sad for most of the day. On the way home it was so nice to see a rainbow. I told the boys that it may have been Dad and Noah saying they hope we have a happy Christmas.
I had been dealing with Christmas a lot better this year, but I was still trying to avoid it as much as I could, so we hadn't been to see any Christmas lights yet (and I got out of going to Carols by Candlelight because I just didn't let the boys know it was on, and told Jay that we wouldn't be going again this year), so on the way home on Christmas Eve we went and saw a few houses before heading home. Kobe is always amazed when he hears carols about 'baby Jesus' or sees pictures of baby Jesus as he thinks that we are the only ones who believe in that at Christmas time. When we went to this house he said 'they must go to church Mum, because they have baby Jesus!'.
They were all very excited when they went to bed, but I just felt so sad as I prepared for Santa to come. It was always such a lovely time with Aaron as we were excited to see the boy's faces in the morning when they saw what Santa and we had for them. When I went to bed I just kept thinking about how I couldn't wait for Christmas to be over.
The boys were so excited to give me presents that they had bought with my Mum. They had all picked them out themselves, and were excited to see what I thought of them. They loved all their presents and all morning Jay kept thanking me for everything. It was nice that he had appreciated it so much, as it was so hard to think of what to get them, then to do all the shopping on my own as it was something that Aaron and I always loved doing together.
special birthday breakfast last year, so Jalen made it up for me and laminated them and put them on the table for Christmas morning. They were so excited about them, and said they were going to put them in their journals to take home with them.
After tea we sat outside around the bonfire, and rode the four wheel motorbike around the paddock.
I hate that it's feeling more and more normal to be on my own with the boys, but am grateful that it's also getting a little easier at the same time. I just wish I didn't have to adjust to being on my own with the boys, at all.
We stayed at my Mum and Dad's new house that night and on the way there we went to see an amazing house with Christmas lights. It was a nice way to finish off a Christmas Day which was much easier than I thought it would be.