This time two years Aaron and I went to bed after leaving Noah in the ICU. During the day we were still hopeful that Noah would pick up, but that night it was clear that in the morning it was time to tell the doctors that we knew it was time to turn off the vent he had been on for the past week. It was an easy decision because Noah had shown us that he was ready and was just waiting for us to be ready as well.
He was showing no signs that he could breath on his own, started to have hundreds of seizures a day, was in pain, and his body was continuing to shut down. He hadn't been well for months leading up to it and in my heart I knew that the end of his life on earth was getting closer.
The doctor and nurses who were with us were incredible and helped us so much. Aaron washed his hair for the last time and joked with him as he asked what type of hair do he wanted. He always knew how to make us laugh, even when his heart was breaking.
As hard as it was, I just knew that I had to be strong. Strong for the boys, strong for Aaron and most importantly, strong for Noah. He had been strong for ten years, and now it was my turn.
It was very peaceful and as strange as it sounds it was actually a privilege to be with him as we watched him leave this life. We were so proud of him and knew that we had given him the best life that we could. I was happy for him that he was no free of his sick and disabled body but my heart was broken as I didn't know how I could walk out of the hospital and go home without him. We stayed with his body and washed and dressed him again before leaving him for the last time.