A few months ago I was really struggling with my grief. It's still really hard every day, but since I have started teaching again I feel like I have a reason (other than my boys) to get out of bed every day. I was so nervous about going back to teaching after having fourteen years at home with my boys, but it has been the best thing that has happened to me in the past two years. I didn't realise how much it would help me.
As a support teacher I don't have my own class, but run small groups for kids that need some extra support. I am also on class a few times a week, to give the classroom teachers time to plan for their kids with additional needs. It has been the perfect way to get back into teaching. Once a week I run a life skills cooking class with a small group of kids. I love getting to know them and to see how much they already know as they've been participating in life skills cooking for a little while already. It's nice to help them with skills they will really need and use in their lives.
One day I had to spend some time with a grade 5/6 class and got to be with them as they took part in a presentation called 'Gumnuts to Buttons' which was about the invasion of Australia. It was a powerful presentation and really got you thinking about the impact on the Aborginal communities in Tasmania when Australia was invaded.
Even though I don't have my own class I have loved going out and buying lots of resources 'just in case' or for my groups. I have always loved buying children's picture books but now I have an even better excuse to buy books and resources. It's fun to buy things to use at school or to put away because 'it'll be good for that one day'.
When I was teaching fourteen years ago it was nice to come home from work and tell Aaron about my day. It's hard now to come home and not have him to talk to after work. Jay often asks me how work was which is nice, but it's not the same as sitting with Aaron at night and chatting about the funny things that happened at work, or the hard things that happened. I miss talking to him at night so much.
The boys love it when I bring home different things from school on the weekends - well Kobe and Harri do :) I put them to work so I can take photos to use for instructions for the fine motor groups.
Noah's garden at school. It's so nice to be at school and see Noah's garden being used by the kids.
Life is far from what I wish, but I feel so blessed to love my work again and to be able to work where my boys go to school. When I started working last year as a Teacher Aide I thought I would be happy doing that for a number of years, and didn't imagine that I would get back into teaching so soon. I'm so glad that the opportunity came up though because it made me get out of my comfort zone (although nothing has really felt comfortable in the last twenty two months) and has made me push myself. It's nice to have something that I love doing again, as it gives me something else to focus on other than just my boys.