A(nother) reason to get out of bed

A few months ago I was really struggling with my grief.  It's still really hard every day, but since I have started teaching again I feel like I have a reason (other than my boys) to get out of bed every day.  I was so nervous about going back to teaching after having fourteen years at home with my boys, but it has been the best thing that has happened to me in the past two years.  I didn't realise how much it would help me. 

As a support teacher I don't have my own class, but run small groups for kids that need some extra support.  I am also on class a few times a week, to give the classroom teachers time to plan for their kids with additional needs.  It has been the perfect way to get back into teaching.  Once a week I run a life skills cooking class with a small group of kids.  I love getting to know them and to see how much they already know as they've been participating in life skills cooking for a little while already.  It's nice to help them with skills they will really need and use in their lives. 

 

When I graduated from Uni (all those years ago!) I taught Kinder and Prep.  I did a little bit of relief  teaching but was so nervous about teaching anything above grade 1 or 2.   I now wonder why I was so worried about the older grades as I have spent a bit of time in the primary grades at school now and work with older kids in my groups, and love working with them.

One day I had to spend some time with a grade 5/6 class and got to be with them as they took part in a presentation called 'Gumnuts to Buttons' which was about the invasion of Australia.  It was a powerful presentation and really got you thinking about the impact on the Aborginal communities in Tasmania when Australia was invaded. 
Even though I don't have my own class I have loved going out and buying lots of resources 'just in case' or for my groups.  I have always loved buying children's picture books but now I have an even better excuse to buy books and resources.  It's fun to buy things to use at school or to put away because 'it'll be good for that one day'. 
When I was teaching fourteen years ago it was nice to come home from work and tell Aaron about my day.  It's hard now to come home and not have him to talk to after work.  Jay often asks me how work was which is nice, but it's not the same as sitting with Aaron at night and chatting about the funny things that happened at work, or the hard things that happened.   I miss talking to him at night so much. 

The boys love it when I bring home different things from school on the weekends - well Kobe and Harri do :)  I put them to work so I can take photos to use for instructions for the fine motor groups. 

Part of my role is to work with the kids with severe disabilities at the school. I love that part of my job.  This week I have been working on making a communication book called a PODD for one of the students.  I was adding in pictures of places that he often went to, and one of those places is Noah's garden at school.  It's so nice to be at school and see Noah's garden being used by the kids. 

I feel so blessed to be able to see my boys at different times throughout the day while I'm at work. Harri desperately wants me to teach him in one of my groups, or take his class sometime.  When I am on duty at recess he walks around with me and his friends, and they crack me up as they tell me what all the different rules in the playground are, and let me know when I should be speaking to different students.  It's nice that he isn't embarrassed that I work at his school, but loves having me there.

Life is far from what I wish, but I feel so blessed to love my work again and to be able to work where my boys go to school. When I started working last year as a Teacher Aide I thought I would be happy doing that for a number of years, and didn't imagine that I would get back into teaching so soon.  I'm so glad that the opportunity came up though because it made me get out of my comfort zone (although nothing has really felt comfortable in the last twenty two months) and has made me push myself.   It's nice to have something that I love doing again, as it gives me something else to focus on other than just my boys.