Halloween just keeps going on

After saying last week that we don't really celebrate Halloween in Australia very much, we just went to our second Halloween party this year.  Harri has a beautiful friend from school - Mia.  She is the loveliest girl and they get along so well. A few weeks ago she gave Harri an invitation for all of us to come to a Halloween party at her house.

The boys were excited to dress up and do it all over again - or at least Kobe and Harri were.  They decided they didn't want to go as 'team rocket' this time but instead pulled out costumes that we already had at home which made it easy.

Jay didn't want to dress up and was nervous about going somewhere where he wouldn't know anyone. There were lots of kids his age there and some lovely boys came over to see if he wanted to hang out with them, but he was too shy and stuck close to me instead.

We talked about how he was a lot like Aaron in that way.  Aaron was the life of the party when he knew people, but if he didn't know anyone he wasn't very social and would rather be home.  Jay is the same - he's so confident and funny when he knows people, but around strangers he just closes down.

Mia's Mum had some great games planned.

 They also had some great decorations including a smoke machine in a couldron.

After the games the kids went trick or treating. Mia's grandma was dressed up and even scared me!

Kobe had the best night and when we got home he said 'we should have another Halloween party at our house!'.

They finished off the night with a massive bonfire which we didn't stay long for.  It was a fun night even though we didn't know anyone and the boys had a lovely time.

The Only Thing We Can Do

It's so hard knowing I can't do anything for Noah and Aaron anymore. It's strange to feel so busy because I'm now a single Mum to three busy boys, but wishing that I could do more for my other boys as well who aren't with us.

When Aaron first passed away all I wanted to do was be home as it made me feel closer to him and Noah. I didn't want to leave home and although we often went to both their graves, it wasn't really a place that I felt like I wanted to go to be close to them.

Now I want to be anywhere but home and enjoy spending time at their graves.  I don't feel particularly close to them there, but I like being able to do something for them - even if it is just tending to their graves.  The children's section is particularly nice and one day after work I had a couple of hours to myself, and it was a beautiful day so I drove to the cemetery, put a picnic blanket down right near Noah's grave and enjoyed the sun.  It was lucky I set my alarm on my phone - just in case - because before I knew it, it was going off and it woke me up to tell me it was time to pick up Kobe from daycare, and the boys from school.   I'm sure Noah was laughing at his silly Mum who was sleeping near his grave, and the cemetery workers all probably thought I had lost the plot.

Because Aaron's grave still isn't in a grassed area, it gets so dusty and dirty all the time.  Our car is full of things to keep his grave as clean as we can, but even if we go back and clean it every few days, whenever we go back it's dusty and dirty again.

We were happy to see that they were finally putting some grass down opposite Aaron's grave about a month ago.  Some of the cemetery workers were near his grave one day, so I asked them when Aaron's section would be done, and they said it wouldn't be till next Autumn. Only 6 more months to wait and we won't have to worry about the dirt so much. 

While I was there that day I noticed that Noah's grave was continuing to sink, even though it had already been grassed a while ago.  A few days later when I went back I saw that they had again topped it up with soil and resown grass seeds.

Kobe loves that we have to start watering his grave again, because he loved doing it last time. 

When the boys and I went up there today we were happy that all the recent sun and rain had made the grass grow back so much already (I'm loving my new phone which can take panoramic shots!  You can click on the photo to see a bigger version of it).

We have also been replacing the potted flowers on top of Aaron's grave regularly. We keep making the mistake of buying flowers that the wallabys love to eat, and they only last a day or two, and we come back and the tops are taken off them.  The last ones that we bought have lasted a week or so now, and hopefully the wallabys will continue to stay away from them.

Our garden at home is looking so beautiful now and the first roses for the season are starting to bloom.  Today we took the first two up to the cemetery for Aaron and Noah.

While we were there I got talking to an older man who I see quite often, tending to his wife's grave.  He once told  me how sorry he was when he realised what had happened, and told me he would water Aaron's plants if they looked dry as he went up there every day to tend to his wife's grave.  Today I said to him that it was nice to see his wife's grave was now grassed and he said that it was and wasn't.  I totally understood what he meant, because as much as it looks ugly with the mounds of dirt on top of the graves, it's nice to decorate it and tend to it often to make it as nice as possible.  Once Aaron's has grass it will look much nicer, but I will also feel sad that I can't take him fresh potted flowers regularly, or pull out the weeds from on top of his grave.  It just makes you feel like you are able to do something for them.

It does look much nicer with the grass on the other side though. It's still so strange to stand at Aaron's grave, and look through to the children's section and see Noah's grave at the same time.  Oh how I wish I didn't have to go up there at all.

NOAHvember 2012

Last year just a few weeks after Noah passed away Aaron decided that November was going to be known as 'Noahvember'.  He posted a new video and photo of Noah every day for the month, on Noah's memorial page on Facebook. 

Last night my friend Simone reminded me that it was time for NOAHvember again. I had totally forgotten about it, but am glad that she reminded me as I love sharing my boy(s) whenever I can. 

This is the first photo that I shared today on Noah's memorial page today.  This is one of my favourites of Aaron and Noah together. It was taken in 2003. 

If you would like to see more photos as the month goes on then head over to Noah's memorial page as I'm going to try to post one each day.

Three in the Bed

I've finally figured out why Aaron and I ended up buying a king sized bed a few years ago.  It wasn't so we could spread out - it was so I could have enough room in my bed for two little boys.

Harri is still sleeping in bed with me every night which I'm okay with but the last few weeks Kobe has had an awful cough.  It's okay during the day but gets really bad at night.  Usually by 11 pm he ends up sleeping in my bed too because it's much easier to help him when he's in my bed, than going back and forth to his room. Thank goodness for having a king sized bed, so it's not too squashy with these two in there.

 

Poor Kobes has been coughing so much that sometimes he vomits on himself, which means changes of clothes during the night.  He often ends up with different tops and bottoms on.  This was him last week on the bathroom floor as I had a shower one morning.  He has been so tired from all the coughing during the night.

 

As much as I love my boys, hopefully it won't be long till there are just two of us in the bed again so we can all get a decent nights sleep.

A Weekend of Fun

Last weekend was another busy weekend, full of lots of fun.   On Friday night we went along to the Punchbowl Primary School fair.  It was a great night despite it pouring with rain for the first half an hour.  The boys were so excited to meet Sticky and Sam from The Amazing Race.  Sam's Mum is the co-principal at the school so we had followed the show anxiously hoping that they were going to win.

Harri cracked me up as we were telling them we watched them every week and Harri then says 'no we didn't! If it was on at 10.30 we didn't watch it 'cause it was on too late!'. 

On Saturday morning we went to my cousin Cade's and Talissa's engagement party. It was such a beautiful day and it was at a park, so we had a lovely morning eating and catching up with lots of family and friends.

That night we went to a halloween party at the Webster's house.  Although we don't really celebrate halloween in Australia it's fun to see it getting a little bigger every year. The boys wish so much that we celebrated it like they do in the USA. 

I was hoping that the boys would want to get dressed up using costumes that we already have at home, but they had to be difficult and decided that they all wanted to dress up as 'team rocket' from Pokemon. I had no idea what that even was, so Jay had to google lots of pics for me.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not creative at all, and can't sew to save myself. It was a stressful week trying to sort the costumes out, but after a bit of hand sewing and iron on transfer paper we came up with some okay costumes. The boys were SO excited about them which made it all worth it.

The best thing about the weekend was that Chrish flew home from Sydney for it, and surprised everyone, except me. I knew he was coming down on Wednesday and we planned on not telling anyone.  It was so funny seeing everyone's faces when they saw him at the engagement party.   Mum even gave him a whack!

The boys were so excited when he walked in the house and surprised them. He came with an awesome costume and all for the halloween party.   Mum wore Chrish's 'Where's Wally' costume that he wore for his footy team's 'silly sunday'.

The Websters always throw a great party with a sausage sizzle, games, a face painter and hayrides.  Everyone was asked to decorate their car boots and the kids go around trick or treating at the car boots and have the best time.

Kobe was SO excited about halloween and couldn't believe that he could just go around and get so many lollies from everyone.

There were so many people at the party that Uncle Kim had to do three separate hay rides so everyone had a ride.

 The kids loved the pinata.

On Sunday Chrish flew back to Sydney, but before he left we went for a walk up at the Gorge as it was such a beautiful night.  The boys had so much fun running up and down the empty pool. 

Chrish and I had lots of fun stalking the peacocks, trying to get a good photo.

It was a lovely weekend and it was nice to keep busy as it makes the weekend go a lot faster.

Three Kings

How cool is this card!?  We found it while shopping in town one day. 

Kobe knows how to read 'King' because we have it on the wall in our hallway.   When he saw the card he yelled 'we ARE the King family!!'.  I think he was surprised that they were making a card about him and his brothers! :)

My Amazing Brother

I can't help but be proud of Jalen.  He has always been a great big brother to all of his brothers, but especially to Noah.  He loved him right from the start.

He always knew right from the start that Noah's life would be short.  As Noah got older he became more and more aware that there wasn't much time left with him.  On Noah's tenth birthday Jay got very emotional and said to me that he knew that Noah may not be around for much longer. I played it down and said that we will just have to wait and see, but deep down I knew it was the truth too.


On the 12 month anniversary of Noah passing away, Jalen posted this as his status on Facebook.  He made me so proud that he still talks about what an influence Noah had on his life.  He said the same things in his talk at Noah's funeral.

A couple of weeks ago Jay said to me that he wondered what it felt like to 'be normal'.  I asked him what he meant and he said that his whole life he has thought about someone dying.  He always knew that Noah would die one day and had it in the back of his mind that one day he would have to say goodbye to him.  Then Noah passed away and then Aaron and he said his whole life he has had to think about death and he wondered what it was like to not have to think about it. 

I reminded him that everyone has something that they worry about, even if you may not know what it is. It may not be that they have to worry that someone they love is going to die, but it is still hard.  I also reminded him that even though we knew that Noah was going to die one day, that we wouldn't give up having him. 

It's nice to know that he agreed.   I'm so proud of him for the way that he can see that having a brother like Noah is a blessing, even though there are hard things about it as well.  I have no doubt that Jay wouldn't be the person he is today without having Noah as a brother.

p.s If you've never had the chance to go to a TOFW event or would like to participate again then you're in luck because this weekend (Friday and Saturday USA time) for the first time ever they are steaming TOFW live from SLC, Utah for FREE.  If you are like me and would prefer to watch it during daylight hours (if only there was no time difference between Tassie and SLC!) or when the kids are quiet and in bed, then it will be online for the next week.

Just go here to register before the event starts.