That Time of Year Again

We used to love going to the lighting of the Christmas tree in town, the Christmas parade and Carols by Candlelight, and the whole of December was busy, but so much fun.

We haven't been back to the lighting of the tree or Carols by Candlelight since they passed away (there's something about being out at night in big crowds where everyone seems happy, that is just too hard), but we still go to the Christmas parade.  This year Eden came along with us, as our friend's Gary and Lisa were busy, and didn't want her to miss out.  It was lovely having her with us.

 It was nice to run into my friend Lynne and her two boys. Her boys go to school where I now work and it's been lovely to see their friendly faces around school and to hear them call out 'Hi Mrs King!'. 
The highlight at the end is always seeing Santa.  Kobe started crying the other night and said 'I know I'm going to be on Santa's naughty list! I just know it!'.  He cracked me up and I asked him why he thought that and he said 'I just know I've been too naughty'.  During the week we have been watching some old home videos and Kobe watched the one where Santa had sent him a video message to say he was on the good list.  I'm sure he must've been thinking about it all week :) I told him he had better buck up his ideas then and start behaving as Santa was watching.  Got to use it while I can! :)

The first Christmas after Noah died was really hard. Aaron was still with us, but we didn't feel at all like having Christmas but did it for the boys.   The next year was our first year without Aaron and Noah and I dreaded it so much. I didn't even put up our Christmas tree, but used the excuse that we would be at my Mum and Dad's for Christmas anyway, and that the house would look nicer without it, as we had put our house on the market.

The next year we put up our tree in our 'new' house (the boys are always telling me it's old as it has some cracks in the walls) but I put it up in our sunroom, as I knew I wouldn't have to look at it all the time then.  Then last year I was really brave (and feeling stronger) so we put it up in our living room for the first time since Aaron passed away.

This year we ended up putting up our tree on November 30th (I knew it would be another week until we got it up otherwise) and put it in our lounge room again. If I had my choice, I probably wouldn't put it up, but the boys make it easier with their excitement for Christmas, so when they saw me getting the Christmas tubs out of the garage, they became very excited when they realised we would be putting up the tree.  It was fun watching them go through the boxes, pulling everything out and trying on the Santa suit - even though it fitted them when they were two!

 Even Milly got in on the action.

Jay made me smile when he said that we needed to put on Mariah Carey's 'All I want for Christmas' song. It was something that Aaron would do every time we decorated the tree, so it was nice to see Jalen taking over that tradition.  All of the boys started dancing (including Jalen) but he refused to dance for the camera, as he knew I would probably put it up on Instagram :)

It actually turned out to be a fun night (after I spent 45 minutes of getting cranky at the tangled lights!) because the boys were all so happy about it. Jay was helping - he just decided to Snapchat the moment :) 

Harri came running in the room at one stage saying 'it's spitting outside and there's a rainbow!'.  There's been so many times when a rainbow has appeared as we have felt sad, or had been thinking a lot about Aaron and Noah.  We no longer believe it's just a co-incidence.

I'm still not looking forward to Christmas and don't think I ever really will again, but it makes it easier because the boys are excited about it.  It is nice to sit in the lounge at night and see the tree all lit up.  I just wish I was buying and wrapping presents for all five of my boys, rather than just three.