Last Monday Aaron and I should've been celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary together. We should've been planning some extravagant weekend away, or a special holiday...just something together would've been nice. Even if it was just going out for tea and to a movie.
Instead I felt weird all day as I kept saying 'today would've been our 20th wedding anniversary'. It still was our 20th wedding anniversary, but it was just a strange day as it wasn't really a day I felt I should be celebrating, as he isn't here. It still was our 20th wedding anniversary, but we only had 16 years together as husband and wife on earth, and 17 years together.
Now that Facebook has the 'on this day' feature I have a lot of memories coming up every day. It's actually hard to see some of the memories - especially those from four years ago, because it was just after Noah passed away. Even though I know what happened, reading our memories from that time makes me anxious as I'm anticipating Aaron's death in January.
On our anniversary this came up on Facebook. It made me smile.
Jalen was very excited about the colouring in ;)
I did suggest to the boys that we go and get some dessert and sit and eat it at the cemetery and Harri cracked me up when he said 'I can't be bothered'. I laughed and said 'don't worry about your Dad who died' and we all had a laugh together. The weather has cooled right down this week, so it probably wasn't a nice night to sit at the cemetery anyway.
I miss my crazy, funny man so much. He drove me crazy at times with his silly sense of humour, but I'm so grateful that I can see bits of Aaron in all the boys. I keep telling them that's not always a good thing though :) I have been feeling him around a lot lately, but I just wish he were really here. I love and miss him so much.