The Most Stressful Things

Apparently the most stressful things to go through are a death in the family, moving house and changing your employment.   I feel like I've had my fair share of stress in the last four years, and just as things feel like they're starting to settle down, things have been turned on their head again and I'm feeling overwhelmed again.

A few weeks ago I was told that next term I am being transferred to a new school.  I am devastated as I love my EAL students, the school that I'm at, my colleagues/friends who I work with, and I know how lucky I am to have been able to teach where my boys go to school. Everyone says to me that it's a great opportunity and I know it is, but at the moment it's hard to see how things could be better than working at my boy's school, with kids and families that I love and already know well. I just feel really sad that I couldn't finish off the school year with them.

It's been really hard knowing for a little while and not being able to say anything to anyone. I just wished I could've come home to talk to Aaron about it at night. That's one of the things I miss the most - just having him here to talk to about the big and little things.  

I am still going to be teaching EAL and will be going from teaching 9 EAL students on my own, to teaching 40 students with another EAL teacher.  I'm am so happy that I will be still teaching EAL and the school I'm going to is a fantastic school, but it's still hard.

When I told the boys the news, Kobe's lip started quivering as he tried to hold it together. I asked him if he was okay and then he started crying, and said he didn't want me to leave school. I hardly ever see him at school, and sometimes I get home from work and ask him how his day was, as I hadn't see him all day, but he was just so happy knowing that I'm at school a few days a week.

Harri was very upset when I told him and has had a hard time sleeping since, but I know once I start and they get used to it, they will hopefully be okay.  The change has brought up a lot of grief and anxiety for all of us again, and it kind of feels like we have gone back another 12 months as we adjust to something new, but hopefully once I settle in, and the boys are used to our new routine, the change will be good for all of us.

It was hard to tell my students that I was leaving, and they all looked very sad. One of them said 'I'm not coming back after the holidays', and then another one said 'I don't want you to go, why do you have to teach other kids when we are still learning English?' .  I told them everything would be fine and that I would still come back and visit them and would see them a lot, but deep down I wanted to cry and just tell them that it sucks. 

It's hard to leave a job you love, and it's also hard to go into a new school when you are replacing another person who loves their job as much as I love mine right now.  Unfortunately it's how the system is, and you just have to go where you are placed.

I do feel very blessed to be going to an awesome school, with beautiful EAL students and great teachers.  I know how lucky I am, and despite being very sad about the change, I'm also very grateful that I've been able to teach continuously for over two years, as I now have permanent hours.  I spent some time at my new school this morning and the kids are absolutely beautiful, and I know I will grow to love them as much as I love my current students.  I also know a few of the teachers there already, which is great. 

Wednesday was my last day at my current school, and I was feeling very emotional, so it was lovely to find some flowers on my desk when I got to work. I'm not sure who they were from, but it was such a lovely surprise (thank you to whoever it was!).  While I was getting ready for the day a beautiful boy who is in grade 5 (not one of my EAL students) came into my office and said 'Mrs King! It's your last day!' and handed me a lovely bunch of flowers.  It touched me so much. 

One of my EAL students then gave me a lovely card that he had made.  He is one of my older boys, and it meant a lot because he's not one to talk about how he feels.  I'm loving my hair in this pic!  :)

On Wednesday I had a meeting with the parents and students (with an interpreter) to introduce them to their new teacher, and to tell them that I was being transferred. They were all so kind and lovely, and told me they wished I didn't have to go but told the new teacher that they were looking forward to her teaching their kids. They are just so grateful for the extra help that they get.

One family were so lovely and bought me a bunch of flowers, and asked if they could get a photo of me with their family. The Mum hugged me and said 'we love you' as we said goodbye. I told them I loved their family too and she asked me if I would come and visit them, and I promised that I would. As a teacher you always get close to your students, but I find I do even more so because my students are from a refugee background, and you just learn so much about their lives and what they've sacrificed to be here.

Last week it was put on the school newsletter that I was  being transferred, and I had a lot of students come up to me to tell me that they were sad I was leaving.  Today I went to pick up Kobe after school and a lovely grade 6 girl ran up to me and had made up a card herself and got everyone in her class to write in it for me. She told me she was going to miss me and gave me a hug.  I told her I would miss them all so much too, but promised she would see me around as I'll pop up on my days off. 

On my last day after school the staff had a little farewell for me and gave me a lovely card and gift.  My friends Kate and Jacky were great at distracting me from feeling sad for a bit, as they put on some music and did a bit of dancing in the staffroom for me.  They obviously don't feel as sad as I do, that I'm leaving! ;)   I did have a few tears before I left, but know that I'll still be up at school a lot. 

I'm looking forward to having a couple of weeks of holidays before I start at my new school. I'm sure once I settle in I'll love my new school.  I'll just wish things didn't have to keep changing.