Did I Know?

There were many times when we were driving in our old van as a family, that I would look back and see this in the rear view mirror.  Sometimes the boys would all be awake and would be chatting away, and other times they would fall asleep as we would drive to my Mum and Dad's house or would be going somewhere as a family. 

I remember having feelings at the time that 'life isn't going to get any better than this'.  It made me want to treasure those days even more than I already did.   When I had those feelings I thought it was because I knew Noah wouldn't always be with us, and I knew that one day the boys would be older and Aaron and I would no longer be the most important people in their lives.    

I always wondered what it would be like after he passed away, and knew that it was these little moments that would mean the most.  I knew that Noah wouldn't always be with us, but I had no idea that Aaron wouldn't either. 

Now when I think about it I wonder if I was being prepared to know that my life was going to change forever, just a couple of years later.   I would often get an overwhelming feeling that this is the best that life is going to be...RIGHT NOW.  

Because of the feelings I had, I never took these little moments for granted.   What I would give now to look back in my rear vision mirror to see this, and to have Aaron sitting in the passenger seat next to me.