Noah's 15th Birthday in Heaven

When Noah was diagnosed with hydranencephaly at 9 weeks old, we were told that he may only live for 2-4 years.  The first twelve months of his life, that was all we could think about.  But as the shock wore off and his health became more settled, we no longer focused on that as much but just tried to give him the best life possible, no matter how long he was with us for.

Noah was actually born on my Dad's birthday so poor Dad always took the backseat on their birthday, as every one made such a fuss that Noah was able to celebrate another birthday.  When Noah turned 1, it was also my Dad's 50th and two days later it was my brother Chrish's 25th, so we made sure we had a big party that year, especially as we didn't know how many more birthdays we would be able to celebrate with Noah. 

Noah turned ten on his last birthday with us, and he actually slept most of the day.  I remember clearly thinking to myself that I wasn't sure if we would get to celebrate another one with him.  It was obvious that his body was becoming more and more tired, and he was very puffy for many months leading up to when he died.  I was looking at photos tonight from Noah's last birthday with us in 2011.  It's still so strange to see photos of Aaron, Noah and also my Dad and know they're no longer here as it can still remember Aaron's voice and mannerisms like he was just here yesterday.









Today Noah would've been 15! I can't imagine at all what he would be like if he were still here.  Yesterday the boys said the same thing. When I imagine him still being here I have such mixed feelings.  I miss him so much and would give anything to still have him here, but at the same time I feel so happy for him that he is no longer in his tired, disabled body.

This morning we had a special brunch, and then headed to the cemetery with 16 balloons - 15 for Noah and one for my Dad.

Kobe loved cracking us up, as he pretended to float away :)

 

After we released the balloons we went over to Aaron's grave.  

It was a freezing day, but lovely and sunny once the fog lifted so we could see the balloons for ages.

When I got home I found this sneeky shot on my camera! :)

After tea the boys were arguing about who should blow out Noah's 15 candles.

 Kobe thought it should be him as he is the youngest (and I agreed) but Harri said that isn't fair because when he was the youngest in the family 'no one was even dead yet!'.  We actually cracked up when he said that, and said that was a fair call.  Maybe he will get to blow out Aaron's candles for his birthday in December.

Happy birthday monkey. We hope that Dad was able to cook you and Grandpa a cake up in Heaven. We wish you were here to celebrate with us.