Sunday, 7 September 2014

Father's Day

September is a harder month than usual with two birthdays and Father's Day.  I haven't thought too much about Father's Day this year, but I couldn't help but think about it because Kobe has been talking about it for a couple of weeks.  For some reason he is really grieving a lot again the last couple of weeks, and keeps saying things like 'I love the photos of Daddy and Noah, but they just make me so sad' as he looks at them on the wall.  One morning he just kept crying and saying 'I just wish so much they didn't die'. 

At school his teacher told me they would decorating mugs for Father's Day and asked me what I wanted Kobe to do. I told her I would ask Kobe, and suggested that he could make it for Grandpa instead of Dad.  That upset him and he said he really wanted to make it for Dad, and that he wanted to take it to the cemetery for him.  I told him that I think that Daddy would love it, especially if we put some flowers in it for him, so that is what we did.  He was sure that Aaron would love the Hawks colours he put on it. 

We took it up yesterday, because we knew we wouldn't get to the cemetery today.  Kobe has been crying a lot all week, especially one night when he came home from school upset because he said a boy in his class said 'yeah your dad died!' as they were talking about Father's Day.  I told him that I'm sure the boy wasn't being mean about it - he was just saying it because he knew that his Dad had died, but he was so upset about it.  

At the cemetery he made me laugh because he was pretending he was playing football with Harri and they kept tackling each other.  It was nice to see him not so sad about Father's Day.   I'm sure Aaron would've loved it. 
We were very sad to see a fresh child's grave, right next to Noah.  I can't help but wonder how old they were and what happened.  I feel sick thinking about what his parents are probably going through right now. 

Today after church we had a Father's Day lunch at my brother Eden and his wife Steph's house.  It was a beautiful day.
Dad loved sitting out in the sun, watching all the kids kick the footy around. 

I couldn't help but to go back to Target to get another t-shirt that mentioned 'Dad' on it for Kobe.  He loves it.
On the way home we went to see the progress on my Mum and Dad's house, which my brother is building.  It's exciting to see it going up, and it will be nice for them to have some more space again. 

It is hard to hear lots of people talk about Father's Day when Aaron isn't here, but I'm grateful for kind friends who contacted me as they knew it may be a hard day.  I was actually feeling okay about it, until I saw families at church together, and then it hit me.  I just wish things were so different.


  1. This is a beautiful post Lisa ... thank you for sharing. I wonder if you ever stop grieving the loss of your father .... even now 48 years later I still grieve for my father and miss him more than words can say. Your sons had so much to grieve, the loss of their brother and then their father, all so close together. One can only imagine how difficult that must be for them.

  2. Love you guys to bits. Wish they were here more than ever.

  3. Here in Canada we have Father's Day in June! It was always hard for me growing up too and a day I could never relate to because I never had a dad. He left when I was 2 and as a kid growing up in the 70's I was the only kid without a dad(and with a single working mom!) and I felt like a freak so in school it was awkward making Father's Day cards and the other kids always pestering me with questions like, "How can you not have a dad?" "How can you not even know where he is!" "That's so WEIRD!" It was always a painful reminder to me of what I missed out on.

  4. Usually I do not know what to say in a comment so I just do not write any, but I couldn't after reading this blog. I just wanted to send love to you guys and hope you'll become even stronger. I'm sure it's hard on you but I'm amazed at the love you have in your family ♡♡

    Sending love to you guys from Kuwait ♡♡♡♡♡♡

  5. It's just not fair for you and your boys. Aaron was such a great father and it makes me sad that he and Noah aren't here to share this life with you. Your boys are in great hands, don't get me wrong, but I'm just so sad things aren't different. :(

  6. My heart aches for you. Where Preslee was our oldest and only, our boys don't/won't really grieve. It presents different issues, but it would be so hard to help your boys all the time while grieving yourself. I seriously wish we were neighbors and I'd comes steal you for girl's nights all the time. Thinking of your sweet family!

  7. You write so beautiful. Wishing I could give you a great big hug. Sending so much love your way.

  8. "I'm so glad when daddy comes home… glad as I can be...!" Yep, those words about killed me on Father's day this year. (In June.) I think Father's day might be one of the hardest days because it is a reminder of what is missing. Other holidays you celebrate other things and you can focus on them, but Father's day, well, it's rough! One day you will all go "HOME" and you will all be together again, and I can only imagine the hugs around the neck and kisses, and how glad you will be! Yea! Glorious things await you. You are awesome. You are doing a beautiful job as a Mother. That is clear. My heart aches for you, but I also know you are something special for all you have experienced. God loves you very, very, much!

    Love your fellow widow friend,

    Mari in Idaho

  9. Thinking of you all at this time of year. I wish I could do something to take away your pain.

    My dad died in 1991 and I still miss him a lot. My mum, sister and I went to visit his grave this week and it helped me to feel closer to him. I am glad there is a place we can go and think of him and talk to him. I think it does help in the long term healing process.

    Sending you all a big friendly hug and lots of moral support xxoo <3
    From Susan McGuire, Sydney.


We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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