Time is such a strange thing - it can go so slowly, but fly at the same time. It's so hard to believe it's almost three years since Noah passed away. Three years! That sounds like forever, and it also feels like forever since Noah and Aaron were here, but it doesn't feel like they have been gone for three years.
When I look back and think about all the things that have happened over the past three years, I'm proud of where we've come. It's been really hard, and it still is, but we are doing okay. We are probably doing more than okay, considering what we've been through. We have done so much in the last three years, and one thing Aaron would definitely be loving, and also laughing about is that we have a dog.
It's now been a year since
we got Milly. I swear that every day I look at her and still can't believe we have a dog! The biggest dog hater has a dog! I've turned into a dog appreciator. I still don't think I can say that I love dogs, but I do get why people do. I'm just not an animal person. I do love Milly, but still think that having a dog is a pain at times. I just hate that we can't just pack up and go somewhere without having to wonder what we will do with Milly (thanks Alison for always being our dog sitter) and hate all the gross stuff that goes along with having a dog which don't even need mentioning.
At least a couple of times a week Jay will say to me how much he loves Milly and how grateful he is that we have her. He says he doesn't know what he would do without her, and I can see how good she has been for all of us. I have no doubt that the boys wouldn't be doing as well as they are, if we didn't have Milly.
When I considered getting a dog, I was worried that I would end up doing all the work and of course it has ended up that way. I know I could pester the boys to do more, but it's just easier to do it myself and she really isn't hard to look after.
I love that she doesn't shed and I think that's the only way I would ever cope with a dog. The downfall is that she needs trimming regularly, and being a single Mum (and a cheapskate) I would much rather do it myself, than pay someone every six weeks to trim her. It's such a big job as I don't want to shave her (I figure why buy a cute dog if they look like a skinned rat half the time?!) so it takes over an hour to trim her with scissors, as I like to let her off her lead now and then so she can have a run, as I don't want to make trimming day too traumatic for her.
Aaron was always very affectionate so when Milly follows me around day and night, I joke with Jay that Milly reminds me of his Dad. She is obsessed with me and has to be right where I am. If she's sitting near me, she has to have her head laying on my leg. It is nice to have her around on my day off work. She loves keeping me company, and I feel guilty if I have to go out and do jobs all day.
If I finish work early, Milly is so excited to see me and can't wait to get inside to follow me around all afternoon. She knows when school is about to finish as our street gets busy with cars, and she will stare out the window, waiting for the boys to come home.
She loves playing with the boys and will bait them to run around the lounge room with her. She will jump at them and wait fort them to chase her and will then go crazy for the next ten minutes. The other night I videod them as they were playing, and couldn't stop laughing. I hate my voice and laugh, but it was too funny not to share.
Getting a dog was definitely one of those hard and big decisions I have had to make in the last three years, but it has been a good one. She has been the best therapy for all of us.