Wednesday 5 March 2014

Twelve months in our 'new' old house

Time doesn't just fly when you're having fun.  It flies when you are grieving too.  It's crazy to think that it's been just over a year since we sold our home and moved to our 'new' house.  At the time it was the hardest decision to make on my own, and I knew deep down that it was the right thing to do, but I still worried about whether I was doing the right thing.

The boys were not happy at all to sell our home we built and to move to an older house, but last week Harri said 'I love this house more than our old house, even though it's older'.  When we first moved in, the boys pointed out all the things 'wrong' with the house...there are cracks in the walls and ceiling and the floors creak, but now they all tell me how much they love our 'new' house.
When we first moved here we were all worried that we were leaving Noah and Aaron behind, because we wouldn't have any memories of them here.  But on the other hand that is mostly why I made the decision to move house, because it was just too sad to live in our old house.  It was no longer a place that felt like home.  It was a place we hated being, because they weren't there with us.

Even though they've never been in this house with us, it still feels like they are here.  Sometimes we feel them really close, and other times it seems like they're so far away, but we all know that they would be so happy for us to be living here.   Jay and I always talk about how much Aaron would love living here.   It feels like we've been here for many years.



We now look forward to being at home.  We love the light and the space, but the best thing is living so close to the boy's schools and work. Life is still so hard every day, but we are adjusting to our 'new normal'.  A new house doesn't fix things at all, but I'm so glad I made that hard decision twelve months ago, as I can see it was a big turning point for all of us.  It has made our lives a lot easier in may different ways. 
 

8 comments:

  1. You've made your new house a lovely home where both Noah and Aaron will always be with you xx

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  2. I love how Millie was in so many pictures as if to say, "hey! I am a part of this family now too!" She looks so happy and your new home is beautiful!

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  3. Lovely post LIsa. Those little creaks are Aaron and Noah just reminding you they are with you in your hearts. What a beautiful home you have made with your boys.

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  4. Your home is beautiful and cozy! ~Lisa

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  5. Milly clearly likes it as she wants to also be in the photos too. You have made a beautiful home and it is amazing how fast the twelve months have passed.

    Paul
    http://ultralightdxing.blogspot.com.au/

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  6. Two weeks ago I found your blog and have been reading it like a book, turning 'page after page'
    with growing respect for how you have picked up after the loss of first your son Noah and then your husband Aaron.

    There's this poem written by Cummings which came to my mind while reading about your life, your , losses, your grief and your love.

    I really wish you and your family well!
    ,
    [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
    By E. E. Cummings
    i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
    my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
    i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
    by only me is your doing,my darling)
    i fear
    no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
    no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
    and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
    and whatever a sun will always sing is you

    here is the deepest secret nobody knows
    (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
    and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
    higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
    and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

    i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

    I wish you and your boys well !
    A reader

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  7. Your home is beautiful & i love the family tree wall decal!

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  8. Oh Lisa this is beautiful. God bless you guys.

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We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo

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