Grief is such a long journey. At times I feel like we are starting to get on top of things a little bit, but it never lasts long. It seems like the four of us are never feeling 'okay' at the same time. It's so exhausting having to deal with my own grief, as well as helping the boys through theirs.
Each of the boys have struggled in their own ways since Noah and Aaron passed away, and at the moment it's Harri who is struggling the most. He has been struggling a lot since the summer holidays, and I hoped that starting school would help to settle things down, but it seems to have made it worse.
He was excited to start doing Rainbows again, as he knew that it helped him a lot last year, but it doesn't seem to be helping him as much as it did last time. He said that it makes him sad to go, as it makes him think about Aaron and Noah more. He has been very teary every day, but especially at bed time. He's having trouble sleeping, having nightmares, is very anxious and has started sleep walking again.
with Aaron and I just after Noah passed away.
I told him it was up to him, and he decided that a little shopping trip in town and Cold Rock sounded like fun.
When I asked him why he says that, he says it's because then he wouldn't be sad.