Thursday, 4 August 2016

Settling In

I was devastated at the end of last term to hear that I needed to be transferred to a new school again - my third school in less than a year. It's been so unsettling for me and the boys and as much as I'm go grateful to have work doing something that I love, I just wish that I could settle down somewhere for a longer period of time.  I love my job teaching English as an Additional Language but I have wondered if it is worth all the stress of moving all the time.  I have joked that maybe it would just be easier to get a job in retail ;)

I find it easy to build relationships with the kids quickly and I think that sometimes this is not good for me as it's so hard when I have to say goodbye to them.  I actually think this is the same for most teachers, but I find it even more so doing what I'm doing because you're so involved with the student's families and lives as you help them settle into life in Australia.

During the last school holidays I was glad for a break, but I was also feeling anxious about starting at my new school so it was hard to really relax.  The first day back at school was a 'student free day' so it was just a day of meetings and planning for the term.  It was nice to see some familiar faces at my new school, but there were also lots of teachers that I didn't know, but it was lovely to have people come and say hi and tell me they knew me through mutual friends.   Everyone was really lovely and welcoming but by the end of the day I just felt very overwhelmed and anxious about starting with the students the next day. I felt okay all day, but by the time I was half way home I had a big cry and felt like a wreck by the time I got in the door. 

I kept thinking about my old school and friends that I worked with there and missed them heaps.  I also kept thinking about my students at my old school and how they would be back at school the following day, and I just wished I was there with them.  I cried all night and went to bed with a big headache but woke up the next day feeling ready to just make the most of the change. 

As soon as I met the kids at my new school I felt much better.   They were all gorgeous and so happy and friendly.  I kept thinking how hard it must be for them to have so many different teachers lately but they seemed happy to have me.

I have now been at my new school for three weeks (I can't believe how fast the term is already going!) and am loving it.  It's SO different to my old school.  They have around the same number of students on the EAL (English as an Additional Language) program but there are SO many kids from different cultures there, and most of them have previously been on the EAL program.  At my old school most of the kids on the program were Afghan but at my new school it is a mix of migrants as well as children from a refugee background.  They come from so many different countries (I think 17 countries in total) and some of my students are from Nepal, Thailand, China, Burma (Myanmar), Sudan, and Saudi Arabia.
I miss my Afghan students and families terribly, but am loving learning about other cultures.  Two of the Nepali girls have been telling me about the period of mourning in Nepal and how when someone dies you have to wear white, not eat certain food and not be touched for a certain period of time.  

My new school is a great school and they are just so used to having children who are learning English and cater for them really well.  This is my favourite part of the school - they display a flag from all the countries represented by the students at their school. Whenever a new student arrives - if they haven't got the flag of their country they get a new one to put up. I love that they celebrate being multicultural. 
Even though it's only my third week there I'm feeling happy and settled already.   Everyone has been really lovely and welcoming including the students, so that makes it much easier to have had to change schools again.  


  1. Change can be so hard, along with endings and new beginnings. After seven and a half years in a job that I loved I was asked to leave. I feel as though part of my world has gone. I still do feel that way. Moving on and making new memories is all I can think about. Just being happy where I am right now. I love reading your posts and even though the things that have happened had not been easy for you, you somehow always manage to keep on going. Thank you for your inspiration.

  2. I am so amazed at you and your talent ! I do have a question how did you decide to not remarry and stick with it

    1. Thank you Kathy. For me I am very independent and don't feel like I need to be in a relationship to feel complete. Aaron was my best friend and completed me. Nobody could ever replace him and I would never want anyone to. I do not feel like it would be fair for someone to be compared to Aaron (as much as I would try not to I know it would happen) and I know that no relationship would ever be even close to what we had. Also I'm in the age bracket where if I got remarried I would most likely be marrying someone who is divorced and has their own children. It's probably me being very selfish but I'm so used to being single and just me and the boys now, that I really don't think I could deal with other children, ex wives etc. I also couldn't imagine having someone else deal with my boys. I think that it's my personality to feel okay on my own. Im lonely but not lonely for a relationship. Just lonely for Aaron and the relationship that we had - we were comfortable together, we were best friends, we were so happy and it took 18 years to get our relationship to that level. I just really couldn't be bothered to go through all the early relationship stuff again to know it would never be like that what Aaron and I had. And then there's the other 'problem' that even if I wanted another relationship there is seriously no one around. I don't know where or how I would even meet someone! lol! But that's not the real reason - I just know that being in another relationship is not going to fix anything or make me happier. Sorry for the Novel but hopefully that helps a bit :)

  3. I have been married for 33 yrs when my hubby passes away and I feel the same way we had a. Very very close relationship and he truly is my best friend we had been through a lot together and I too am lonely but lonely for him💕 We too lost a son at the age of 8 years old and that cemented our relationship ❤️ We are also LDS
    And know famines are Eternal love you❤️

    1. I'm sorry to hear that. Deep down I know that Aaron would be happy for me to get remarried but I just don't long for that. The longer it's been without Aaron the less I want it because I'm so used to being single now. I think I've become selfish in many ways and just really couldn't be bothered to deal with any of that. I'm sure your husband would probably be happy for you to get remarried but only you know how you feel and what is right for you. I have other widow friends who are now in relationships and I'm so happy for them but I just don't want it for myself.


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