I've always blogged because I wanted to record family memories, and I've gone through stages where I used to blog every day (how did I ever find the time to do that!?) to now where I probably only blog once a week. There was a stage where I would feel like I needed to blog all the time, and would use my 'good camera' a lot because I wanted the photos on my blog to be good. But now I just blog because I don't want to forget things that we are doing, or things that we are going through, and usually just use photos that I have taken on my phone. When I see the terrible quality of the photos (compared to ones off my good camera) I hate that I haven't used my camera, but I'm also glad that I now don't feel like I have to blog all the time, and just capture things as they happen.
My blog has become my therapy in a lot of ways, but there is a lot that I don't share and write about, because I want things to be as personal as possible for my boys, especially now they're getting older. But I also want them to be able to look back on my blog one day and remember things that we did as a family when Aaron and Noah were still here, as well as be able to look back and see how far we've come since they passed away, which is why I continue to blog - even if I post a lot less than I did before.
While I was looking for photos to use on my 'Dear Aaron' post last week, I realised that there's a lot that I haven't recorded on my blog recently. I think because I use Instagram so much I forget to actually put it on here. I also feel like I'm so busy with work and everything else going on, that finding the time to sit down to write a post is just too hard.
I feel like I used to blog more about the little things, because it was the little things about Noah that I wanted to remember. Now I feel like I'm so busy that I just blog about the big things, and after the year I had last year, it can sometimes feel like it's a bit boring to write about the little things on my blog. But it's the little things that I really want to remember. It's the little things that I know I'll forget in years to come, so I'm hoping I'll get better at posting them on here.
One of the highlights of last year was being able to meet Alyson who is also a widow from the USA. We met online through Instagram and became friends quickly. It was a dream come true when she told me she was going to come to Sydney to hear me speak at Time Out For Women . We only had the day together, but it was amazing to be with her and her friend Holly who is also a widow. I was so happy (but also very jealous!) when my brother Chrish went on a trip to the USA later in the year, and got to catch up with them again - this time in Utah.
During the year the boy's school had applied to get a cow to paint as a part of the Dairy Australia Picasso cows program, and the cow lived in the room that I taught my EAL students in. The kids loved having the cow in our room, and we had lots of interesting conversations about it.
A part of the process of painting the cow was to learn about dairy food and where it came from. The cow had to be painted to go with the theme 'paddock to plate'. Kobe's teacher has a dairy farm, so it was the perfect place for an excursion, and I was lucky enough to be able to go along on the excursion with Kobe and his class, as two of my EAL students were also going.
Kobe was so excited to have me on the excursion, and he was one of the lucky students who got to name one of the new calves that had just been born. He decided to name the calf 'Lisa' and it cracked me and the other teachers up, as I said that I'm often called a cow, so it made sense ;)
Kobe got to help paint the cow with his class, and it turned out so well.
Harri had a great year at school last year. He loved his teacher and class and I was so proud of his report. Harri does well in everything that he tries including sports and school, but I loved that in his report it said he was 'a kind boy who has gone out of his way to ensure that our EAL students are supported'. His teacher told me that after I was transferred to another school, she felt like he took on the role of looking after them to make up for me not being there anymore. When I would get home from work he would tell me how they were going, and the things they were doing and saying. He has a really kind heart, and that makes me prouder than him getting good marks on his report.
Last year Harri had the job of putting the flags up at school every day with two of his best friends.
He loved participating in lots of different sporting events during the year, and was especially excited to go in the school's triathlon for the first time.
Harri has been loving doing the Parkrun every Saturday, and is motivating me to go as well. I still hate it, but my cousin Tim and his wife Helene make it fun so we have been doing it a lot the last couple of months. It was fun the week we all had to dress up as superheroes.
We were lucky to see the three Hawthorn premiership cups one day at the Harvest Market, after we did the Parkrun. The boys were very excited to hold them.
It was a nice surprise to be asked to speak at the Tasmanian Child Health Association's annual general meeting as the Tasmanian Mother of the Year. It was just a small group which meant it was a lot more casual and relaxed than speaking at Time Out for Women in Sydney.
It's always nice to be given the opportunity to talk about Aaron and Noah, and what life was like when Noah was here. My life now feels so far from that now, even though it's 'only' been four years and I would give anything to go back to caring for him.
I can't imagine that there will be anything big happening this year, so I'll have to make sure I post more about the little things that are happening in our family. I'm so glad that I've been posting about the little things for over nine years now, because I have a record of so many things that I would've otherwise forgotten. We have a little plaque in our lounge room with the saying 'enjoy the little things in life, because one day you'll look back and realise they were big things' and I know without a doubt that is so true.