Sunday, 30 November 2014

Remembering 19 years

Last Saturday night I stayed up past midnight as Sunday was Aaron and my 19th wedding anniversary.  For some reason I just really wanted to stay up as the time ticked over to the 23rd November.   I went to bed feeling quite sad and really missing Aaron and wishing things were different. 

When I woke up on Sunday morning I actually felt okay.  The day turned out to be a lot easier than I imagined it was going to be.  We had a very busy day with things on after church, so we headed straight to the cemetery after church to have a little picnic at Aaron's grave.  Jalen put down the blanket right next to Aaron's grave, but I decided to move it right on top of his grave.  Some people do all they can to avoid stepping on top of graves, but I actually like plonking myself right on top of Aaron and Noah's graves at times. 

We took a photo with the timer on my phone and had a few laughs about the phone tipping over a few times, before we got a decent shot. 

When we got home from church there was a lovely surprise at my front door - some flowers and a beautiful card that said some lovely things.  I have no idea who it was from, but to whoever it was - thank you!
We then headed up to Aaron's Dad and Step Mum's house, as it was Aaron's Dad's birthday.  The boys love visiting Nanna and Pa - especially as they always have milo, biscuits and sometimes even a cake ready for them!  We love hearing Aaron's Dad tell stories about Aaron when he was little. 

During the week Kobe was upset that he hadn't had time to make me a card for 'Valentine's Day'.  I asked him what he meant and he said 'you know! When you and Dad got married!'.  I laughed and told him that it was called our anniversary.  He then got busy and made me a cute card, complete with two daiseys glued to the front. 

Inside it said 'To Mum.  We love you.  From Jalen, Harri, Kobe, Milly, Nanna and Pa'.  It made me laugh.  He has been asking me all week if I love it.   I told him that I did and that I'm sure that Dad would've loved it too.   My anniversary would've been so much happier if Aaron was here, but I'm grateful that the day wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. 


  1. Lisa it is always wonderful to read your blog. Though at times it is more like "I am so glad to hear from you Lisa!" like you are really a physically present friend.
    The gospel brings people together esp families who love each other. Take care and all the best for the coming Christmas season and new year. x


  2. Love to read your written word and your children are so awesome!! You are doing the best that you can and it is remarkable.

  3. My heart goes out to you! Tomorrow is my 15 year anniversary, my first since my husband died in April. I get to spend it going to an appointment for my son's kidney complications. Yea! :)

    Life does not go as planned, does it? But somehow -- as I can see you well know -- we keep moving forward, and keep smiling, and enjoying life. It is harder... but you know, I really think God walks super close to the widows. I feel that way.

    It is interesting to me how often you go to the cemetery. I actually chose a cemetery that is an hour drive away from the city I live in, in the mountains in Idaho City. I have only been to it three times since he died. It is in a beautiful location in the wilderness, but my children do not like to go there often, because they feel like daddy still lives and is close to us, and being at the cemetery makes it feel like he is dead, if that makes sense? I like to go there because it is a beautiful place, and very peaceful. But I will likely only ever go a few times a year, at most.

    We feel the closest to Charles just being at home and being happy doing things as a family. However, the younger kids do like digging in the dirt and running through the trees when we have gone to the cemetery. Because it is in the mountains, I will not make it there all winter -- it will be buried in snow, but I hardly think about going there, honestly. He lives. He is near me always. Thank goodness!

    I know everyone is different, but I was just wondering if you feel the closest to them there, or other places? Maybe you could write a blog about what draws you there? I really think everyone is so unique in what allows them comfort. I am just curious how you feel about it. :)

    Also, just some food for thought... I read the article in the December Ensign called, "Angels we have heard." I think you will really enjoy it. It discusses how those who have passed on can "communicate" with us and be close to us. I loved it. And needed it.

    I know your husband and your son are near you. I hope that you always feel that in a powerful way. May the veil be made thin for you, so you can feel their love.

    You are an amazing Pioneer woman.

    God be with you, always!

    Your widow friend in Idaho,


  4. Thinking of you As always,
    Nicola in nz


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