18 years and forever and ever...

18 years ago today I married my best friend. We probably weren't best friends at the time, but we loved each other and knew that we wanted to be together forever.  When I look back at photos of us from then I can't believe how young (and skinny!) we were, but we knew what we wanted, and that was to just be together. 

Our life together definitely had its ups and downs, but it made our relationship stronger, and we grew to be best friends because we had to rely on each other so much, especially after Noah was born.

 

This photo was taken just under a month before Noah passed away.  I have been going through a lot of photos on my computer lately and think it is actually our last family photo that we ever had taken together.

Last year the day of our wedding anniversary was a really hard day.  It shocked me as to how hard it hit me.  It was probably because it was the first one since Aaron passed away, but I was still surprised that it was so hard.   I had been thinking about our anniversary coming up all week, but wasn't dreading it like I was last year.  I'm sad every day, but when I woke up this morning I didn't feel like it was going to be a harder day than usual which was good. 

Last night while I was out for tea with some girlfriends, Alison babysat the boys and organised for them to write in some cards for me.  When I got home Kobe thought he was being so sneaky and said 'we didn't do anything for your anniversary Mum, not anything at all!' with a big cheeky grin on  his face.

Harri wrote such a beautiful note in his card.  A couple of days ago he told me that he loves me 'more than anyone else in the world, and I'm not joking Mum! I really do!'.  His card was so cute.  Apparently he told Alison that he knew he spelt 'anniversary' wrong, but said I would be proud of him for having a go :) 

When I woke up it was a beautiful sunny morning and I knew that if I moped around too long it would probably start hitting me, so I got the boys out early into the garden with me. It was nice to get out and be busy all morning.

 

 

We then went out do a few jobs and decided to go to Maccas for lunch, which Aaron would've loved.  While we were there we ran into one of the lovely landscapers who designed and built our beautiful garden at our old house for us.   He knew we had since moved and was keen to see how we were going and where we were living now. 

While we were having lunch a McDonalds worker came over and asked the boys if they wanted a helium balloon. They all said no, but I told them to grab one as Aaron would've loved them as they had a big M on them, and said we could take them up to his grave and release them for our anniversary.

We kept laughing about how Aaron would've thought they were the best balloons we had ever released.

 Harri did the big count down. 

 This afternoon Alison popped in with a present which was such a surprise. She had arranged for her friend Sam who is a very talented illustrator to draw a picture of us together.   I love it so much and love the little details like Aaron's patch of grey hair in the front.  It came in a beautiful frame, so now I'll have to find the perfect spot for it. Thank you Alison for such a special gift.

 

It was nice to get through the day and not feel like the sadness was overwhelming me.  I wish Aaron was here to celebrate our anniversary with me, but I'm so glad to know that we are married forever and ever and ever and ever and ever......