Goodbye Dad

My beautiful Dad passed away at 2:37 pm yesterday - Tuesday 27th January, 2015.  He was under palliative care for two and a half days.  It was a very long and tiring two and half days, but it also went fast.  It was really hard seeing Dad the way he was, but he was unconscious the whole time and kept comfortable by all the wonderful doctors and nurses. 

On Monday night we all left Mum at the hospital, as she was sleeping there with Dad.  We were all up late messaging each other though, and I Mum said how hard it was seeing him like it, and how she just wishes he could go. We all agreed and I said that maybe was just waiting for something.  She said she didn't know what he could be waiting for, as we had all told him it was okay to go. 

That night was when I couldn't sleep until I finished doing my blog post about Dad. I just did it on my phone, and finally posted it at 1:30 am.  I just really wanted to post it before Dad passed away - I guess kind of hoping that Dad could see it and see how much we all loved him.

The next morning my Aunty Wanda (Dad's only sister) commented that the blog post really helped her, which made me happy because I knew how sad she was.   At about 2:25 pm my Aunty Wanda walked into the room with her son Tim and his family. She was very emotional and it was so good to see them.  My Mum, brother Chrish, sister Nicki and two of her kids were all in the room when they arrived.  She said she was just so upset all morning, and just wanted to come down and see him, so Tim took off work to bring her down.

She had a good cry as she spoke to Dad, and Mum told her that he wasn't in pain and explained everything that was going on.    She told him it was okay to go, and then Mum and Aunty Wanda sat down on opposite sides of Dad's bed and kept talking. 

It was a lovely moment as they chatted across Dad's bed, so I passed my phone to my brother Chrish who was sitting at the end of the bed, and asked him to take a photo for me.  I looked back up at Dad to see what the photo would look like and I noticed his chest wasn't moving.  For a sec my heart jumped, and then I saw him take one more breath and it stopped again.  I yelled 'has Dad stopped breathing!?' and Mum and all of us jumped up.  He had taken his last breath and it was just so peaceful as he slipped away.  

We couldn't believe that he had been breathing quite strongly when she arrived, but just went in an instant. He was obviously waiting for his sister to arrive, and we were so grateful that she came and could be there with him when it happened.

We were all very emotional but were so happy for him that he had finally, and imagined the reunions that he was having at that moment.  My boys actually weren't with me when it happened, and I think that it was the best way it could've happened.  They arrived about forty five minutes later and it was nice for them to see him so rested and peaceful and still warm.

We spent about four hours in the room with Dad's body before we all left to come home.  I told the boys as we were driving to see who the first one to spot a rainbow would be.  I just knew we would see one on the way home because I have no doubt that Aaron sends us rainbows at different times, when we need to know he's around.   About twenty minutes after I said it a double rainbow appeared.  Jalen then said 'okay, maybe the rainbow theory is true' :)

I literally pulled over about twenty times on our drive home, to take photos of the sky. I was sure that Dad was letting us know he was happy. 

It's such a different feeling losing my Dad, compared to losing Noah and Aaron.  I'm so sad and can't imagine life without him around, but I'm more concerned about how my Mum will cope, and what I can do to help her. 

My Dad sometimes went to respite because of his dementia, and I like to think that right now he's in the most beautiful respite that he could be in and he's having the most wonderful time with many people that he loves, and it hopefully won't be too long until we see him again.