Friday, 11 April 2014

The Man of the House

Jalen has really struggled a lot since Aaron passed away.  Starting high school is tough at any time, but especially three weeks after your Dad passed away.   He has struggled with his physical and mental health a lot over the last couple of years. 

At the time I didn't really blog about it because I wanted him to have as much privacy as he could.  I love having a blog because it's such a great way to keep a record of our family, but I am also very aware that many people read it, and there's good and not so good that comes with that. 

During the middle of last year, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and either could Jay.  It was hard to imagine that he was ever going to feel better physically and emotionally.  You could tell when he was having a particularly hard day, because he also didn't look physically well. 

I was worried that starting another school year would be hard on him, but have been happily surprised that he is enjoying school again.  He looks forward to going to school every day, and is even enjoying the work.  He comes home from school really chatty every night and wants to tell me all the things that he got up to at school, and has a great group of friends. 

He still has days when he is really sad, but those days don't overwhelm him like they used to.  He came home with his school photo a couple of weeks ago, and I  love it so much as you can see the change in him.  It's so nice to have the happy and healthy Jay back. 
When Aaron passed away Jay was still really a boy, but he's grown into such a young man since then.   It's funny when someone hasn't seen him for a while, as they comment about his deep voice and how much taller he is.  I don't think it'll be long and he will be taller than me, and he loves rubbing it in. 

I joke with him all the time about being an awful teenager, but I'm actually very lucky as he really is a great kid.  It was so nice this week to go to parent/teacher interviews and to hear how lovely he also is at school and to hear that he's got a great sense of humour and is always willing to help out. 

He's also such a great help around the house and never complains when I ask him to do things.  He talks my ears off, and half the time I have no idea what he's even talking about (it's usually to do with a video game or something he saw on YouTube:) but I love that he loves to hang out and talk with me still. 

He always tells me that if I ever get remarried he really would turn into a horrible teenager, as he couldn't handle me being with anyone other than his Dad.  I reassured him he has nothing to worry about as I'm not wanting to ever get remarried but love joking with him about it, because he makes me laugh when he tells me how terrible it would be. 

Last week Jay told me that he could deal with most things after Aaron passed away, but the thing that he hates the most is that they can't watch superhero movies together anymore.  I laughed, but he told me he was serious as that was one thing that they had together, that was just between the two of them.  Harri and Aaron were close because they love sports, and Jay and Aaron were close because they loved superhero movies.  As Jay was only twelve when Aaron passed away, he was only just getting into them, and Aaron had promised to take him to see the Avengers.  He was so upset that he couldn't go with him, and even though I took him it just wasn't the same. 

Last week Jay was really keen to go and see Captain America 2, and kept talking about how he wished Aaron was here so they could go together.  I told Jay that going to the movie with him would be a win/win situation for both of us, as he would get to see the movie and I would get to eat popcorn while watching hot guys, so we went to see it together.  We had a great night and even though I really didn't know what was going on in the movie, it was actually pretty good. 
He reminds me so much of Aaron in many different ways.  He has the same sense of humour that Aaron had, and often he will do or say something that reminds me so much of Aaron.  I often say 'are you right Aaron!?' to him as I could swear that what he just said could've come out of Aaron's mouth, but he loves that he is so much like his Dad.  I remind him that it's not always a good thing to be like his Dad as some things drove me crazy  :)  

I wish the real man of the house was still here, but I'm proud of my new man of the house.  It's so nice to see a genuine smile back on his face. 


  1. What a blessing Jay is to you. He has demonstrated incredible strength as he has coped with losing his Dad for this time. It's what is going to make him into someone's even more amazing dad someday. Good job hel

  2. Aaron's way of letting you know that you are doing a fine job with the boys. Frankly, even though I don't know you but read your blog faithfully, I would have been surprised if Jay turned out any differently. With such smart and compassionate parents all your boys are destined to do wonderfully. God Bless and keep on keeping on!

  3. He looks a lot like Aaron in his photo! Such a handsome kid. I just love the relationship you have with him and love to hear all the teasing. You guys are so fun!

  4. Your son is really growing up and he sure resembles you in many ways. I loved it when you said he'll be taller than you. My son will be 16 in December and he is taller than me and NEVER EVER lets me forget it. Sometimes he even calls me shortie and I just laugh and laugh. I love the human being I helped to create and I love it even more that he loves his mom so much. We are blessed by these young men in our life. :O)

  5. Oh Lisa reading your entries make me feel sadness, joy, comfort & peace. God bless you & your sons every tender mercies & blessings there is... ��

  6. He looks great in his school photo!

  7. such a handsome young man. My oldest son is almost 15 and it is odd to call him a young "man" when he really is just my little boy....

  8. He's a beautiful, and handsome boy. And so good to his Mama! Must make your heart sing!!! xo
    Naomi G.


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