Standing at their graves

Today I went out on my own to the cemetery to visit my boys.  It was an eerie feeling driving in, knowing I was going to not only visit Noah's grave but also Aaron's. 

 It was the strangest feeling to stand at his grave and look down and see his name there.

Yesterday when I arrived home from his funeral there was this beautiful necklace in the mailbox as a gift from the lovely Kath from LOVEnCherish. When Noah passed away Kylie organised for her to make me a beautiful necklace with all four boys names on it, and I treasure it so much. I will treasure this one even more.


While I was sitting, crying at Aaron's grave (luckily I have a good supply of man hankies thanks to Simone) a lovely older man drove up and started tending to a grave near by. He lovingly watered the plants in pots on top of the grave, and then got out an old towel and wet it and wiped down the plaque. 

I looked at him and smiled and he said hi, and after a little while he left.  I went to see who he was visiting, and it was his wife who passed away last year, at about age 60. There was a photo of the two of them together on the plaque.  I cried even more to know that his heart was also broken, but to also see that he got to spend many more years with his wife than I got to spend with Aaron. I couldn't help but feel cheated of so many years. 

Aaron's grave is right near the children's section, so we can see Noah's grave from it.  I just couldn't get my head around that I was standing at Aaron's grave, and looking at Noah's at the same time. 

I went over to visit Noah and after a big cry, a prayer and some deep breaths I started to feel that peace come over me again.  As hard as this is right now, I know that things will be okay.  I hate that they aren't here, but I feel comforted to know that the two of them are together.