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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

All over again

Where to start. So many people. So much love shown to us today.

It was a hard, but amazing day today as we said farewell to Aaron. I knew it would be big, but it was way bigger than I imagined.

There were so many people that the chapel, lounge and hall were filled and then people were also watching it in other rooms and also outside on a big screen.

All day I just kept thinking that it was unbelievable to think that we were doing this all over again.
My boys were amazing and so, so strong. Both Jay and Harri spoke about Aaron and told everyone all the things they loved doing with him, and how he would be happy with Noah right now.  All three of them sat close by me the whole time, even Kobe who usually likes to go off and sit somewhere else. He was so good the whole time.


Jay has told me he is now the 'man of the house' and whenever he sees me crying he comes over and rubs my arm and says 'it'll be okay Mum, we'll be okay. It'll get easier'.

It was a hard day but I felt Aaron and Noah close by and after first of all thinking that I wouldn't be able to get up and speak, I was overcome with peace and felt very calm as I told everyone about the Aaron I know and love.

As Chrish drove the boys and I into the cemetery we talked about how just last week were were walking through there at night, laughing, playing and joking as we went down to Noah's grave.  Now we were following his body in the hearse.   Just seeing his name on the board all alone, made me sad.

After rain during the night, Noah turned on the weather for us again and the sun started to come out.


I thought I would find it really hard at the cemetery like I did with Noah, but I just felt a lot of peace as I watched his coffin being lowered into the ground.  Kobe helped make it easier as he said 'here it goes! Down, down, down!' and made us all smile.  Once the coffin got to the bottom Kobe then said 'now he's in Heaven!'.


I'm sure he was smiling down on us, especially as we sent up the Hawks colours balloons to him and Noah. 



81 comments:

  1. I mentioned before I felt that "peace" too, and while the sadness remains, it's comforting to feel it. I was waiting up for your post and feel I can now go to bed. I hope you get some sleep tonight. Sending lots of love your way,
    Kylie, Shayne, Patrick, Lauren and carter xxxx

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  2. You are one amazing person. Stay true to your heart and be strong for your boys.

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  3. I hope you can get some rest tonight. You and your family are in my thoughts. xx

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  4. Your family is amazing. Thinking of you, and your boys x

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  5. Oh, that peace... I know that. When I spoke at my own son's funeral, that peace took over and I spoke...

    Love and blessings to you Lisa xx

    (here via Naomi)

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  6. Lisa, I know so many people have told you and left you comments about you being amazing and inspirational. I hope one day you will be able to see yourself as others see you. Truly courageous and Inspiring and your ability to share your families story has touched so many. You were amazing today and your tribute to Aaron was just beautiful. You and your beautiful boys today were an inspirational to every person there who heard your words and were touched by the raw emotion in which you write with. I am sure Aaron and his Cheeky monkey are so very proud of you all. Keep strong and know that there is so much love and support for your beautiful family. Love Lindy Conway

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  7. Once again, you blow my mind xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  8. Lisa, it really was beautiful. I love you so much. Please sleep tonight x

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  9. I don't know you at all, but after reading you blog this week I DO know that you are so incredibly strong, and brave, and human. Your words have reduced me to tears so many times and I am in awe of your ability to share your precious moments. Thank you for allowing us to grieve with you.

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  10. There just are no words. Except to tell you that I love you dearly. xxx

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  11. Your courage and grace amaze me, Lisa xx

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  12. You just keep amazing me Lisa. xox

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  13. How incredibly strong you are and what a gorgeous family.

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  14. May God's comforting arms surround you all with His perfect love.

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  15. We are all so proud of you, but the proudest of all today is Aaron and Noah, who without a doubt I'm sure already knew the way you would carry yourself today. XX xxxx

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  16. Lisa I dont know you but I have been reading your blogs since Aaron passed away.The words that you write show how strong you are and need to be for your 3 little boys. You are an incredible person and your family would be so proud of you.

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  17. dear Lisa, I have always wondered if anyone could immediately blog after the passing of a loved one in a meaningful and dignified way, and I am so in awe of you, your strength, generosity, open-heart - your words truly define this difficult time, and evoke emotions in all, including me, who read your words. I can't imagine for a moment, what you feel right now, I guess, it will take time, as your boy said. I wish you so much good will, and hope your family can evolve in time, the way you want to, when you're ready. Best wishes mate, and I will def be reading your blog for some time now, to see how you're all fairing, big kisses to the little ones from a mum of two, xxxxxxx Annie

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  18. Beautiful Lisa, just beautiful. I couldn't help but have a chuckle at Kobe's words ... but cried when he said "now he is in heaven" ... how innocent and beautiful are children in their faith and then to see that photo of his little smiling face ... so precious. Your strength and courage is a wonderful inspiration to everyone. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words. Sending you peace and love xoxo

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  19. Never ever prouder, and I love you. xo

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  20. Words fail me...I am praying for your comfort and God's perfect peace for you and your family today.

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  21. I am so glad that you felt peace today and that you were surrounded by so many. I was thinking about you all day. Kobe's words say it all. Now he's in heaven.

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  22. Lisa and family, I am a friend of Becky Ortons here in the US and have felt the sting of death several times in my family life since childhood. Although I have never lost one of my own children or a husband to death, there is always something good that comes out of bad things...so as you are comforted by family and friends near and far, may your faith grow like it never has before. The gospel and eternal nature of the family all in place, know that your Father in Heaven has a great plan.
    Jacob said in 2 Nephi 9:6 that death hath passed upon all men, to fulfil the merciful plan of the great Creator. Although the world will never tell you this has all been a merciful act, a prophet of old did.
    The following is from Joseph Fielding McConkie in his remarks at the funeral services for Elder Richard L. Evans. "May I say for the consolation of those who mourn, and for the comfort and guidance of all of us,that no righteous man is ever taken before his time. In the case of the faithful saints,they are simply transferred to other fields of labor. The Lord's work goes on in this life, in the world of spirits, and in the kingdoms of glory where men go after their resurrection."

    May you be comforted through all your trials and continue to be blessed.

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  23. May Heavenly Father's blessings pour down on you and your boys.

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  24. My heart is aching for you right now. I know Aaron and Noah are rejoicing in heaven together and they will always watch over you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I admire your strength and courage.

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  25. You're a Wonder Woman!
    Take care.
    mark

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  26. Your strangth in adversity is inspiring. My prayers are with you and your beautiful family.

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  27. Prayers for you and your family today as Aaron has been laid to rest. So hard to believe that such a young life has been taken from you and the boys. May you find peace to get you through the days, weeks, and months ahead.

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  28. I don't know you. I live in Fruita, Colorado. My heart aches for you. You have such a beautiful family. I am so sorry.

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  29. like probably several others I linked to your blog this morning through Stephanie Nielsen's blog & wept as I read Noah's story and about the recent loss of your husband as well. Please know that there are many whom you don't even know praying for your comfort, strength and well being. Take care.

    Lynne
    Charleston, IL, USA

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  30. Praying for you and your boys. Your faith is such an inspiration to us all -- all of us "strangers" here on your blog who suddenly feel so connected to you. May you have the peace and strength to carry you until you are reunited with your beloved husband and son again.

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  31. you seem so strong and good. an example to those in similar situations.

    i hope the answers come as you seek the Lord's comfort.

    much love,
    megan
    salem, oregon, usa

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  32. My husbands name is Aaron as well. He passed away four years ago. I want you to know how sorry I am for your losses. My heart aches for you.

    I was sent your link in an email. I hope you don't mind me looking in on your blog.

    It looks like you have a lot of support, but if you ever need to write to someone who understands (somewhat), feel free to write.
    May the Lord bring comfort and peace to you and your family.

    Lesterlou33 at hotmail dot com

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  33. Hello Lisa...you dont know me but I just found your precious blog this morning. As I find myself crying reading your words I am amazed by your strength... What a sweet daughter of God you are!! We share the same faith but countries apart. Isnt it wonderful to know where your husband and son are now and that they are looking down on you and your boys, watching over you and guiding you too! I can tell you are a beautiful, sweet mother! I hope that you will always feel our Heavenly Fathers arms wrapped around you!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious boys.
    Tiffany

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  34. I am so sorry for your loss. I sat at my desk reading your blog while doing the ugly cry.

    My heart aches for you and your boys, but I know that while your heart is hurting, it is also filled with SO much love.

    I pray that Heavenly Father will bless your family with strenght during this difficult time.

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  35. Thank you for sharing this impossibly difficult time - you are beautiful and strong and an example to us all.

    May His peace sustain you and His love comfort you.

    Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
    and death is only a horizon;
    and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
    ~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

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  36. You are an AMAZING woman.

    From the other side of the Earth I pray that the Lord may carry you and that you feel his peace and love from Him...and from me.

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  37. I'm so very sorry. Words just can't express. Sending love and prayers of comfort to you and your family.

    Families are forever.

    Camille in Nevada

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  38. Lisa you are inspirational , your boys are very blessed to have you.
    My families prayers are with you.
    Karyn x

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  39. I am so so very sorry.
    My heart aches for you.
    Prayers for you and your family.

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  40. Thank you for sharing your story, my heart aches for you and your boys. I am in awe of your strength - I pray that the Lord will watch over you and your sweet boys at this time, and that you will feel His love and comfort.
    Lyndsey

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  41. I am so sorry for your losses. May the Lord give you all you need in this difficult time. We will pray for you.

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  42. I am in tears reading your story! I can't believe how much you have suffered within the last few months. I pray the knowledge that families are forever will give you peace and knowing that your "Two Boys" are together.

    My mom died seven months before my sister passed away. My family likes to think that mom knew Susan was scared and wanted to help her in the next life. It give us comfort.

    May Heavenly Father bless your family.

    Love,

    Tina

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  43. I am a friend of Lisa Woodward's here in the states, My heart goes out to you. You are such a strong woman, and the Lord has great things for you to do. Thank you for sharing your story, I can feel the spirit through your words. Stay strong. We are praying for you and your little boys. God bless you!

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  44. I popped in from Stephanie Neilson blog. I'm so touched by your blog. I'm sorry about your son Noah and your husband. That is a lot for anyone to have to bear and my prayers go up for you. You have a beautiful family and it looks like a lot of people loved your husband and son and love you as well. Bless you honey and your children.

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  45. {{{ hugs }}} Even with the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation... The pain is still almost more than we can bear. Praying for your comfort during this unbelievably trying time.

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  46. Hello, I am so sorry for your loss, my heart is breaking reading your story. You are so strong and an amazing woman. You and your boys will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Terri

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  47. I, too, am the Mum of four boys. I am so, so sorry for your losses. I will continue to pray that you find strength each day. God bless.

    Susanne

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  48. It was you holding everyone up at the funeral and comforting everyone! You inspire me. Your boys inspire me. You are well deserving of the praise you receive. Stay strong.
    Elissa.

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  49. My heart breaks for you. Our prayers are with you. The Lord loves you. He really does.

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  50. My heart breaks for you and your boys. I can only imagine how you must feel. Luckily you have 3 strong men beside you. Hugs and prayers. x

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  51. Oh Lisa...I dont know you. Im one of those people watching from afar trying to understand how such a needed person for you could be gone. The picture of your littliest boy with the most beautiful grin looking up as you look down makes my chest ache. It makes it all so cliched when sometimes all we have to say is that life is too short and that we need to stop but we do. Your faith is enviable, sending strength and weakness all at once x

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  52. My heart is heavy for you and your family. Your boys are strong and I can sense will be great support for you in the years to come. It is unbelievable to me that things like this happen to good people. I am visiting from Nie-Nie's blog. I will be praying for peace and strength for you and your boys.Stay strong!!!

    Cindy
    Peterborough, Ontario Canada.

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  53. Simply, thinking of you and your family x

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  54. Im so sorry for your loss, beautiful images and ive been reading your blog posts the past hour and am now in tears...may you and your beautiful boys find strength during this difficult time - your husband and beautiful boy Noah will always be beaming down with love...

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  55. I don't know you .... and I just read through your blog ... My heart goes our to you and your family. Keep your faith .... it will help you through this.

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  56. Hi, I just found your blog and wanted to say I am SO sorry for your losses. To lose your child and your husband just months apart... my prayers are with you, your boys, and your family. I am in awe of your strength and amazed by your spirit. I wish you guys the very best...

    - A reader from California

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  57. Lisa, you are such an inspiration. How courageous & brave of you to share your personal story at such a sad time. I wish you and your boys courage for the long road ahead and may you find peace and strength in the beautiful memories of your husband and son.

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  58. My love goes out to you. A stranger I've never met and yet I was with you at the grand heavenly council and that makes us sisters. My prayers will be with you and your boys and most especially that the details of that plan will buoy you up and see you through this test of faith. It's all true. Hold on to your faith and know that many heartfelt feelings of love are coming your way. thank you for sharing your life at the this moment. Nancy

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  59. I am soooo sorry for your losses! I sit here a mess, bawling my eyes out. I only know a portion of your pain. I had a baby born still at 21 weeks gestation and the pain I went through was unbearable. so I can only imagine the pain you are going through having lost your beautiful son and now your husband. I am so sorry! I pray for peace and comfort and I hope your other boys are ok. What hard things for such innocent little lives to go through. peace and comfort for you.

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  60. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers.

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  61. Lisa,
    I am one of the countless "strangers" who have been touched by your story. A story of amazing courage, resilience and love. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope for you and your beautiful boys that the sadness soon fades. Like the other "strangers" I only wish there was more I could do. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Cath

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  62. Lisa,
    I know your cousin Anna-Lee. I have been thinking about you ever since Anna-Lee shared your blog this morning. I just want you to know that I am so sorry for your loss, for your husband and your beautiful boy. My son Jonah passed away on September 29th. I know a little of the grief you feel and just want to say that I'm praying for you and your family. I'm praying that strength and peace will envelope you. I'm praying that you will feel the love of the Savior daily, that angels will bear you up at this difficult time. My heart is broken and I am crying with you tonight.

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  63. Lisa we send lots of hugs and love, you are amazing.

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  64. My heart breaks for you and your family. You seem to have such a beautiful perspective. I know you will see your son and your best friend again.

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  65. Although I'm a stranger to you and your family, I'm a child of our Heavenly Father just like you. I hope you can feel my family's loving thoughts and prayers all the way from Salt Lake City. Love to you all. =)

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  66. Hi Lisa, I have only just "found" your blog and can I just YOUR strength IS inspiring and YOUR family, SO strong. My dad is battling cancer atm and I hope that I can find within myself the same strength. Im visiting from Annie's blog "A View On Design". With many hugs from the Snowy Mtns - Annie@My White Homestead xo

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  67. May that peace stay with you now and forever Lisa. Xxx
    Our prayers and thoughts are constantly with you xo

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  68. Although there are no words to say that might bring you comfort just know that many people are praying for you. It all seems confusing and incomprehensible what has gone on in the last few months - I don't pretend to know what you must be going through. i do know that the power of God is real and that answers truly come from prayer. One minute/hour/day at a time is all you need to focus on. The Lord knows how you feel and will bring you comfort I am sure of it. You are loved by many even those who do not know you. I am one of them. - Ashley SLC, UTAH, USA

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  69. I just found your blog through Stephanie Nielson's blog post... and I am sending so much love your way... so much love.. and so much support. I am so sorry to hear of your loss... especially when it occurred... and I just wanted to stop and say your family is in my prayers.

    so much love to you,
    Amanda

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  70. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your amazing family. I have been following your blog for awhile and it is through your testimony and faith in love and family that I have been able to find my way back to my belief.

    I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that your Dear sweet husband and eternal partner is watching over you as he is joined once more with your precious son. He will be walking beside you always.

    I wish you peace in the knowledge that you will one day be reunited with your soul mate, this life is such a small part of the eternities.

    I thank you for your amazing photos and beautiful words. You are a testament to your family.

    Mush love to you and your family,
    Kylie

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  71. I could not believe my eyes when I read the paper Lisa..... Only a few months after Noah's passing! I have been a regular reader of your blog for quite some time, and I shed a tear or quite afew for your loss! Makes you wonder if 'He' thought Aaron had to stay with you so that you could not go through the devestation twice by yourself!

    Your family are a wonderful support... Thinking of you all xx

    So much love and hugs to you and your family.
    x Sarah

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  72. I am a friend of Jason Livingston; it is through him that I heard of your terrible tragedy. I just want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers tonight. Please try to be strong and rely on your Father in Heaven. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  73. Take care of your boys and yourself- they need you and you need them. Yours 2 boys are in Heaven.

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  74. I can see both Aarons strength and your strength reflected in your sons shoulders in the photo of him.....be strong young man XXX

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  75. Lisa I'm so happy to see so much support for you at this time. I can't believe how many people are joining your blog, it's wonderful. No doubt Aaron will take credit for it ;) The funeral was absolutely beautiful. You continue to amaze me and everyone else with your strength, beauty and grace. I am honoured to be your friend. I know how much Aaron adored you...and adores you still. Love you xx

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  76. I cannot begin to comprehend what you must be going through. All I can do is send you and your boys my love. Stay strong, dear King family.

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  77. I am so very sorry for your loss - for both your losses. My thoughts are with you. I do hope you continue to be comforted by the fact they are together. Sending much love.

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We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo