Father's Day

September is a harder month than usual with two birthdays and Father's Day.  I haven't thought too much about Father's Day this year, but I couldn't help but think about it because Kobe has been talking about it for a couple of weeks.  For some reason he is really grieving a lot again the last couple of weeks, and keeps saying things like 'I love the photos of Daddy and Noah, but they just make me so sad' as he looks at them on the wall.  One morning he just kept crying and saying 'I just wish so much they didn't die'. 

At school his teacher told me they would decorating mugs for Father's Day and asked me what I wanted Kobe to do. I told her I would ask Kobe, and suggested that he could make it for Grandpa instead of Dad.  That upset him and he said he really wanted to make it for Dad, and that he wanted to take it to the cemetery for him.  I told him that I think that Daddy would love it, especially if we put some flowers in it for him, so that is what we did.  He was sure that Aaron would love the Hawks colours he put on it. 


We took it up yesterday, because we knew we wouldn't get to the cemetery today.  Kobe has been crying a lot all week, especially one night when he came home from school upset because he said a boy in his class said 'yeah your dad died!' as they were talking about Father's Day.  I told him that I'm sure the boy wasn't being mean about it - he was just saying it because he knew that his Dad had died, but he was so upset about it.  

At the cemetery he made me laugh because he was pretending he was playing football with Harri and they kept tackling each other.  It was nice to see him not so sad about Father's Day.   I'm sure Aaron would've loved it. 

We were very sad to see a fresh child's grave, right next to Noah.  I can't help but wonder how old they were and what happened.  I feel sick thinking about what his parents are probably going through right now. 

Today after church we had a Father's Day lunch at my brother Eden and his wife Steph's house.  It was a beautiful day.
Dad loved sitting out in the sun, watching all the kids kick the footy around. 

I couldn't help but to go back to Target to get another t-shirt that mentioned 'Dad' on it for Kobe.  He loves it.

 

On the way home we went to see the progress on my Mum and Dad's house, which my brother is building.  It's exciting to see it going up, and it will be nice for them to have some more space again. 

It is hard to hear lots of people talk about Father's Day when Aaron isn't here, but I'm grateful for kind friends who contacted me as they knew it may be a hard day.  I was actually feeling okay about it, until I saw families at church together, and then it hit me.  I just wish things were so different.