When Aaron passed away Kobe was actually asleep (thank goodness!) but the next morning I felt physically sick - not only from the shock of losing Aaron so suddenly, but because I knew that I would have to tell Kobe that his Daddy had died.
When he woke up the next morning he called out straight away 'Daddy!!', thinking that Aaron would go straight in and jump into bed with him. I raced in as soon as I heard him call out, and got into bed next to him and just came out with it. I had no idea what the best thing to do was so I just said 'Daddy's not here Kobes because Daddy died last night'.
He looked at me and said 'huh!?' and I said 'Daddy stopped breathing last night, and the ambulance had to come, and he died. He is now with Noah and Heavenly Father'. He then said 'oh' and just looked at me not really knowing what to say and then asked 'my cousins still here?!'. I told him they were and he was so happy and jumped out of bed to see them.
The rest of the morning while we were packing up to come home, he was happy playing with his cousins, and then every now and then he would say to someone 'my Daddy died'. The next couple of weeks my Mum and brother Chrish stayed with us, and for the first couple of days Kobe would still call out 'Daddy!!' when he woke up. He quickly realised Daddy wasn't around so started to call out 'Chrish!!', or 'Mama!!' (Grandma).
Once they left it changed to 'Mummy!!!' and then after a little while he even started to call out to Jalen. He loves us jumping into bed with him.
Hi Lisa, i often read your blogs, and admire your courage and your little boys strength. I wanted to share with you a song, which always reminds me of your situation, i hope you dont mind me doing so its " Green spandex" by Xavier Rudd. Warmth thoughts your way sweet lady xx jeannie Hobart Tas
ReplyDeleteJeannie, that song is amazing!
ReplyDeleteLisa, again you astound me with your beautiful words.
Sharon
Lisa, I have been reading your blog for a while now. First of all, let me say what an amazing women you are. Those boys are so very lucky to have such a courageous, beautiful strong mum like you.
ReplyDeleteI have been brought to tears many times from your blogs, but none more so that this particular one. You write with such raw emotions and I feel very privileged to be reading a part of your life.
With all this great extensive history and photography there is no way your adorable boys could ever forget what a wonderful father they had.
Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Love Kathryn xo
Darn it where's the man hanky!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kathryn above.
Love you all so much.
XX xxxx
yep, tissue time.
ReplyDeleteOh Lisa,
ReplyDeleteYour blogs always leaves a lump in my throat. I feel for you and your sweet boys. What a huge loss it is for your babies to lose their daddy! Someone that can never be replaced. Keep going my beautiful friend, your proving to be such a strong and inspiring lady. Thanks for sharing your experience, as hard as it must be to type it out, I hope in a way it helps you as well, hopefully in a theroputic way..
Lots of Love.. your never far from my thoughts xxx Barb
Just what Kathryn said - how lucky they are to have such beautiful memories.
ReplyDeletexxxxx
Lisa, we often think you and the kids. We do find it hard to come up with the right thing to say to try to lift your spirits, but just so you know you lift our family spirit with your words. May the Lord's love calm your souls. FYI we had no internet for the past three months and we have miss you. Ricky and Vienna
ReplyDeletelove you so much. xo
ReplyDeleteThis blog brought tears to my eyes! You are such a strong woman!
ReplyDeleteLisa, I have been following your blog since Aaron passed away, I have to agree with Kathryn. What wonderful children you have, what strength you have. I know that you have the understanding of the plan of happiness and that certainly helps. But the loss is still there. I am so grateful that you have your wonderful boys, your brother and mom and dad.
ReplyDeleteWhen I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is read you blog and see how you are doing. You are an inspiration to so many people. Your boys are so blessed to have you as their mother.
Keep going and keep remembering that Families are forever. I send my love and prayers to you and your sons.
I wish that too.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog since your husband passed away and my heart has ached for you and your boys and many tears have poured. I just wanted to let you know how uplifting, inspiring and faith-building your posts have been for me.
ReplyDeleteThis post really was so painfully beautiful. I am glad that you have such a loving family, wonderful friends and support from so many around you and more importantly the knowledge of eternal families. Thank you for being so candid.
I miss my Kobe snuggles, even if they were too early some mornings.
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Chrish, Pish or Pistian
I remember the morning I had to tell my three boys that their dad had died during the nite. There were people crowded in my downstairs and someone asked if I wanted to wake them up to tell them. I remember thinking "why would I want to wake them up to tell them that their life has changed forever?? Let them sleep for as long as they want to."
ReplyDeleteYou have handled these last few months with such strength and grace. I've never commented on your blog before but I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I hope that doesn't sound condescending from someone you don't even know. I have not suffered thru the loss of a child and I hope to God I never do. I have, however, suffered the sudden loss of a husband with three boys left without a daddy. The only thing that helps heal those deep wounds is time. They never completely go away but they become more manageable.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. How lucky your children are to have such a strong and loving mom. God bless you all. xo
~ Wendy
http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/