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Monday, 20 February 2012

We're a wreck!

As the days and weeks go on, it's getting harder and harder as things sink in more.  It was the same when Noah passed away. The first couple of weeks you don't have much time to think, but then it really hits you.

Yesterday morning I heard someone crying, and looked into my bedroom and saw Jay laying in my bed, sobbing his heart out.  I jumped in with him and we had a good cry together, and next minute Kobe joins us.   Kobe saw us crying and then said 'me miss my Daddy soooo much' and also started crying. 

Harri heard what was going on and jumped into bed with us and was trying to make me feel better by rubbing my arm, saying 'it's okay Mummy, it's okay'.  It only took Harri a couple of minutes and then he was crying too. 

We all just climbed under the doona, cried and hugged each other and then Jay cracked us up laughing when he said 'We're a wreck!!'.
 


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50 comments:

  1. Winterfell Mixed Media20 February 2012 at 18:22

    Thank heavens for family xxx Especially lovely little fellas !

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  2. holland was my destination20 February 2012 at 18:29

    I'm feelin ya! You guys will do great. Early days suck! Early months...aww who am I kidding the first year sucks! If you are upright at any part of the day then you are successful! Same goes for the boys.

    Loving you long and strong from afar

    Tricia

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  3. Anonymous20 February 2012 at 18:29

    Thanks goodness you have those sweet boys and they have you to help heal each others hearts xx

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  4. Kalle20 February 2012 at 18:30

    I am sending hugs and prayers! Glad you were able to have some emotional release together. God bless you!

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  5. FG20 February 2012 at 18:44

    Sending you our thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you all.

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  6. Tammy Rowlings20 February 2012 at 19:07

    Everyday I think of you and the boys. My heart aches for you.... Wish I could take some of the pain away.
    Love Tammy

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  7. yvonne enter20 February 2012 at 19:11

    Yes I can imagine that now the hard times are beginning. It's wonderful though that you have each other and that someone somehow always seems to say the right thing.Your boys are amazing Lisa and together you will pull through. It's wonderful that you can see their special qualities shining through. Thinking of you all the time.

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  8. Anna20 February 2012 at 19:27

    I wish I could say something that would help....please know that you are being thought of everyday xxxx

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  9. Anonymous20 February 2012 at 19:30

    I'm crying too. Good to be able to smile a bit thru the tears. What a blessing have all those arms entangled about you.
    xo
    Holly

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  10. sarah20 February 2012 at 19:31

    but a gorgeous wreck x

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  11. Renee (and Brennan)20 February 2012 at 19:33

    I would imagine it gets harder as things start to settle down once again. I've never met Aaron but I still can't believe he's gone either, it's just seems strange.. Hugs to all of you. At least Harri and Kobe was still able to put in a little smile in the photo xx

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  12. Susan20 February 2012 at 19:35

    I have to admit that I have a sob every time that I read your blog. You are doing such a great job. I feel for you so much, and then selfishly think of my own 3 boys aged 7, 10 & 12 and appreciate how lucky we are. You will all help each other. I am no grief counselor, but sometimes you just have to wallow before you can pick yourself up to carry on.
    Susan (Melbourne)

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  13. Carli20 February 2012 at 19:36

    Oh man! So many tears :(
    Sending armfuls of love x

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  14. herzlichgern.de20 February 2012 at 19:47

    me crying to every time i´m here and i DID NOT EVEN KNOW him! thats so unfair! :O)))
    sending you LOVE and HOPE and I am so glad, for you, that you have your boys, and they have you!
    Claudi

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  15. Anonymous20 February 2012 at 20:10

    Words fail me...I can't imagine what you are going though! you have amazing boys...may ypu find comfort together <3

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  16. Tracy_xx20 February 2012 at 20:18

    Once again, letting you know my thoughts are with you and your boys. Your boys are very lucky to have you. Having a teary over this entry <3

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  17. Watson20 February 2012 at 20:35

    I always have always thought afternoon church was a bad idea! Too much time to reflect, and see who's missing. Weekends must be so hard now. I had a talk to my neighbour over the fence today and she had heard your story from facebook. She started tearing up when she put the connection together. Seeing you guys upset, breaks my heart, but I am grateful that you openly share your thought and feelings to us. It is good therapy to be able to grieve together. Maddi has drawn a Wiggles picture for Kobe and wanted the back to say "whenever you are sad because you miss your Dad, I will draw you more pictures." Looks like it's time to send Kobe those pictures. Love you all lots and lots. You guys are amazing!

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  18. Natalie R.20 February 2012 at 20:51

    Your all amazing!!!

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  19. make it perfect20 February 2012 at 21:11

    Love Jay's sense of humour! Always ready to crack a funny no matter what the situation :)
    Love and hugs to you all, this sucks.
    xxxxxxxxxxxx

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  20. Bride20 February 2012 at 21:38

    more tears from me. Jay sounds like he has a great sense of humour. xxx

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  21. Nettie's Blog20 February 2012 at 22:37

    such a precious moment to share with your boys Lisa....... my heart aches for you all...there will be more beautifully special(even though painful) "missing Aaron" moments for you and the boys to share i am sure..thank you for sharing this one with us...we cannot imagine in our wildest dreams how hard these moments are for you all..just know we love you

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  22. Anonymous20 February 2012 at 23:02

    Lisa you are a truely amazing woman. I have been reading your blog since I herd about your story through another blogger. I have read your post every night before I go to sleep and it makes me want to be a better person. Your courage, strength and love is something I have never seen or herd before. You are an inspiration.

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  23. Becky20 February 2012 at 23:14

    No words...only tears. I'm so glad you have such tender boys. xxx

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  24. L!$@21 February 2012 at 00:45

    We all need a good cry every once in a while. Today was your day.

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  25. Anonymous21 February 2012 at 02:02

    I wish I could take away your pain. Thinking of you every day.

    Jeanette USA

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  26. Sara Jane21 February 2012 at 02:12

    Also thinking of you EVERYDay...I read your blog every morning (I am in USA) and I pray for you and your lovely boys....please know you are being lifted up to our Heavenly Father who though I have NO idea why he has allowed this to happen, I do know he IS your comforter and your provider and your safe place...
    Blessings to you and your 3 precious Sons.xx

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  27. PeggyMomma21 February 2012 at 02:35

    That picture at the end of your post (a gut wrencher) is so great. I would never have thought to take a picture, but it makes it alllllll so much more "real" to all of us blog stalkers out here. I, too, think of your family every day and wish there was something that I personally could do to make you all feel a bit better. Your blog is a great therapy of sorts for you and the pictures are positive things for your boys to look at (we like 'em, too!). Hang in there, Lisa!

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  28. -danielle-21 February 2012 at 03:05

    you're so strong - I found your blog by accident and have absolutely fallen in love with your family, your courage, and your unbelievable will to go on; despite all the things life is throwing your way. carry on, be strong, and this too .. shall pass.

    Danielle - craft play love.com

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  29. Lisa21 February 2012 at 04:04

    It breaks my heart. I am so sorry. I am glad you have each other to hug, cry, and understand together. You are in my prayers. Hugs to you all.

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  30. Unknown21 February 2012 at 05:00

    Couldn't visit the blog and not comment! You are loved! Thank you for sharing your "honesty". Hopefully on some small level you feel the great love and support being poured out to you by many, many like myself who are thousands and thousands of miles away and yet want you to know "YOU ARE LOVED!"

    This is a journey! Thank you for sharing! One day at a time; one minute at a time; one memory at a time! You can do this!

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  31. handinhandaus21 February 2012 at 07:04

    Huge (hugs), kids always sum it up in a nutshell. What beautiful wrecks you all are!

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  32. Anonymous21 February 2012 at 07:29

    Lisa, I don't know you or your family. I live thousands of miles away in North Carolina, USA. You have been nothing short of a complete strength and inspiration to me the past several weeks. My heart breaks for you and your beautiful family! Through your tragedy I have seen courage and grace that I didn't think existed. You've been an amazing example to me. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that you have nothing but happy, peaceful days ahead. Stay strong!

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  33. Junior21 February 2012 at 09:48

    lots of hugs and prayers.

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  34. Katie21 February 2012 at 10:32

    I've been following your blog for the last 3 weeks. I think of you often and pray that you and your sweet boys will find some comfort in such a heartbreaking time! I'm sorry you are going through this. You All must be the noble and great ones before this life. Much love and prayers from a sad mommy in Utah, USA. Xoxo

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  35. April21 February 2012 at 12:25

    Oh I'm crying with you.... such tender tender moments...

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  36. Amy21 February 2012 at 13:06

    So much for you all to adjust to, I am sorry.

    Glad you have each other to comfort and cry with, shows how close you and loving you are all towards each other.

    Hugs to you all.

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  37. Sarah21 February 2012 at 14:57

    I have been watching your blog for a while...

    I am in constant awe of how strong you all are in the mist of what you all are going through -you are all so strong.

    I feel here on earth Aaron did lots of good and wished he was around longer (much) to offer more good.

    I dont know you at all but I cry often when I read your post. From me to you all - lots of healing vibes are being sent your way daily.

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  38. Auntie Mip21 February 2012 at 15:14

    My heart breaks for you all. But I cannot help but say, the photo you posted was breathtakingly beautiful. Because it showed honesty. It was raw. There was pain. But there was so much love. And the love will see you through! You are prayed for.

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  39. Jessica21 February 2012 at 15:29

    I am an ocean away, but my heart hugs you in spirit. I appreciate the courage and strength in you. I recently have come across your blog and I pray for you constantly. I can only imagine the angels that surround you and your boys! May you be lifted and strengthened in this time of sorrow and change. Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
    What a wonderful mother you are and such a steady, constant source of pure love for them. You are so good. You are better than you know.

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  40. Jess21 February 2012 at 18:31

    Oh Lisa :( I feel for you so much and I am constantly thinking of you and praying this gets easier for you in time. It is just not fair at all, but please hold onto the thought that Aaron and Noah will be together watching over you, Jalen, Harri and Kobe and guiding you all until it comes your time to join them. Sending you all my love and hugs, wishing I could do more for you. You are the most amazing person, such an inspiration and the best mother to your boys. Lots of love and strength xoxo

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  41. benny.t21 February 2012 at 19:38

    :( Sometimes our hearts are eternally bound to eachother because of shared sorrow and grief. I can't think of a family who are closer. xxxx

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  42. Lisa Lou21 February 2012 at 21:40

    You make a beautiful wreck x

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  43. Shelly Cunningham22 February 2012 at 02:51

    Gone- flitted away...
    Taken the stars from the night,
    and the sun from the day.
    Gone, and a cloud in my heart.
    -Alfred Tennyson

    I found this quote & thought of you...

    I am often thinking of you & your boys.

    God bless all of you.

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  44. ashli22 February 2012 at 03:15

    wishing somehow we could take away your sadness and pain....

    may our heavenly father's love lift you up and bring comfort to your souls!

    what a wonderful husband, daddy, friend, teacher, man.

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  45. Anonymous22 February 2012 at 03:42

    This is one of the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. What a beautiful family. I must admit, when I saw it, I couldn't "see" it without seeing Noah on one side and Aaron on the other. You are separated, but you're still a complete family! Your boys are amazing and you are too. You and Aaron are the kind of people I would love to be friends with. I will look you two up in the next life. :)

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  46. A Mother's Love22 February 2012 at 07:19

    I am crying with y'all. My heart goes out to you and those wonderful boys. I wish there were magical words I could say to make you feel better. You all are thought about and prayed for. And you will be with Aaron and Noah again one day.
    God bless y'all, Kelley
    Texas, USA

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  47. Fiona22 February 2012 at 09:26

    Such beautiful boys. My heart breaks to read your post, I can't imagine your pain. I'm glad you have one another.

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  48. Princesses in waiting22 February 2012 at 12:45

    You are such a beautiful family. Hope you can feel the strength I'm sending you with this message.

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  49. MulfHerd23 February 2012 at 11:00

    I pray for you often. Keep being strong, God is with you.

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  50. Unknown8 March 2012 at 05:09

    Your boys will carry you. As a mom of four boys, I feel and share how blessed you are...

    Stay brave *hugs*

    Chantal

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We are so grateful for everyone's love and support, and appreciate your comments xoxo