My Daddy will be happy with Noah up in Heaven

Harri had been having a really hard time since Noah passed away. He was struggling so much with it that we started to take him to a child psychologist so we could get some strategies of how to help him the best.  She said that Harri was actually suffering from trauma and couldn't grieve properly until he had worked through the trauma.

He had been getting a lot better in the last few weeks before Aaron passed away, but now he's of course worse than he ever was since Noah passed away. I know it's going to be a long road to help him feel secure and safe and happy again, especially as he saw a lot of what was going on when Aaron passed away.

As we were driving back from St Helens Harri said from the back seat 'when I talk at Daddy's funeral it's going to be a lot longer than my talk at Noah's funeral'. I hadn't even asked him if he wanted to talk yet, but he knew he had a lot of things to tell about Aaron, that he wanted people to know.

When we viewed Aaron's body the day that he was dressed Harri didn't want to touch him or be close to him, but at the funeral he was quite happy to be close and even touched his body.





I was so proud of him all day.   He really wanted to 'help Daddy' by handing out his funeral programs. 

He did such a good job with his talk which he wrote himself.  I offered to stand up with him, but he said he would be okay by himeslf.  He even stumbled across a couple of words, and then took a deep breath and corrected himself and kept going. When he came and sat back down he looked at me and said 'you changed it Mum!' (as the wording that he wrote sounded strange) and he wasn't very happy with me.  Later he told me that he made a mistake with his talk, but he thought 'all these people are listening to me, so I just kept going'.

This was the talk that he wrote himself. 

I love my Daddy.

My Daddy taught me all about sports.

He taught me all about American football, cricket, AFL, basketball, ice hockey and he used to watch fun things with me like sport, the Disney Channel and Star Wars.

My Dad made funny jokes. The funniest one was when Noah was a baby and I was bawling my head off and Dad said Noah was looking at me wondering why I was crying and looked at me like ‘whatever!’.

He taught me about the computer, and how to do special drawings.

And he taught me how to fish and how to be happy and not be naughty.

I liked to play with Daddy at the pool and the park and at home.  He always helped me put my Lego together.

We liked to wrestle and I always won!

He always taught me to be a brave boy when someone dies like Noah.  When I get scared he taught me not to get scared and tried to make me feel happy in my own room and not get scared. Every Friday night daddy and I  used to watch Friday night football.

At 5.00 am every morning daddy got up and watched American football. My daddy makes the funniest jokes in the world.

My daddy will be happy with Noah up in heaven.