The fog had lifted

As the weeks have gone on it's actually gotten harder since Noah passed away. I expected it to be like this from what a lot of people have told me who have gone through similar experiences. I've tried to keep busy over the past few weeks, but in the meantime my body has crashed a bit and I have no energy, the good old cold sores have come out (always get them when I'm run down and stressed) and I just feel like I've had too much to deal with at once.

I started going back to the gym a few weeks ago and it felt really good at first, but now it just feels like a major effort to get there and I'm not enjoying it like I hoped I would. I decided that this was a sign to take it a bit easier and look after myself more, so I have stepped back a bit and am just doing a couple of classes a week, instead of the usual four or five.  I will do more once I feel a bit better physically.

Instead of going to the gym and hanging with my gym buddies, today they came to me.  It was so nice to have them around. I had a couple of sad days yesterday and the day before, but this morning I woke up and felt like it was going to be a happier day and it was. We always have a good laugh when we are all together.

A friend who lost her husband told me that grief is like being in a fog, and it takes a long time for the fog to lift.  Some days you feel like the fog is clearing and then the next day it can be right back down again.  That's exactly how it is and some days I just feel like my head is somewhere else.  It worries me when I'm driving and I've gotten somewhere and can't remember if the traffic lights were even green, or I can be driving somewhere I always go to, but go up streets and feel totally lost and can't work out which way to go .  

Today was one of those days where I felt like the fog had lifted a lot.  I actually felt good lots of the day which was a nice change.  It was really nice to laugh and have some fun together.  We had so much fun playing 'Just Dance'.  I'm so useless and was laughing more than I was dancing.

Charlotte is a little groover (obviously gets it from her Mum who was also a mover) and was showing Kobe all her moves.

Thanks for the laughs, yummy food and a good day.