It is in Italian and also English. It's so weird but cool seeing what I wrote, in Italian. You can read the interview here.
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Mamma che Caos
A little while ago I was contacted by an Italian blogger Elena, who asked me if I would mind being interviewed for a series she was starting on her blog, called 'Moms in the World'. Today my interview has been posted on her blog.
It is in Italian and also English. It's so weird but cool seeing what I wrote, in Italian. You can read the interview here.
It is in Italian and also English. It's so weird but cool seeing what I wrote, in Italian. You can read the interview here.
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Blogging On
I don't get excited about Christmas or birthday presents at all (unlike Aaron who was worse than the boys at Christmas time!) but I couldn't help but be excited about the present that my friend Simone gave me this year. She was so excited to give it to me, so I knew it must've been something she put a lot of thought into.
She had arranged for a talented friend to make up this print for me. I love it so much! You can't tell how nice it is from this picture, but it is on canvas paper and looks lovely.
I found the perfect spot for it :) Thank you Simone, and also Esther for being so clever.
She had arranged for a talented friend to make up this print for me. I love it so much! You can't tell how nice it is from this picture, but it is on canvas paper and looks lovely.
Sunday, 19 January 2014
'Our' Beach House
It was a really hard decision for Mum and Dad to move house after being in the same house for over 25 years, and I know they really miss it, but we are loving their sea change.
The first few weeks of summer holidays were hard. It's hard to enjoy having holidays, when all we wish is that Noah and Aaron were here, and all of us find it especially during the holidays when we are together all the time, without them. We try to keep busy and the best week we've had so far of the holidays is the time we've spent at Mum and Dad's new house.
They live a five minute walk from the beach and very close to two of my brothers and their families. Every time I go there I think how awesome it would be to live close to the beach, but I don't think I would ever move. It's just nice to have somewhere to stay and it feels like we have our own beach house now.
We were lucky to be there when we had the best week of weather of the holidays, so far. The heatwave had hit Tasmania and we were loving the hot days, as we could jump in the water all day. Every day we would spend hours at the beach. We would go to the beach where dogs were allowed off their leash during the day and had a great time with Milly, who loved the beach as much as we did, and would fetch the tennis ball for hours. I was having such a lovely time, that I didn't even take my camera and only took photos on my phone.
She was a bit confused about the tennis ball on the totem tennis, and kept wanting to fetch it.
Most days it was hard to drag ourselves away from the beach.
It was great having my friend Simone and some of her kids come to hang out with us one day.
Every day we would wait for the tide to go out so we could do our daily walk to the island.
When the tide is in all this sand is totally covered by water, so it was fun walking to the island and playing in the pools of water that were left behind. They were always so warm and Kobe loved to play in them.
Kobe yelled out to me 'look Mum! I'm walking on water like Jesus did!'. It cracked me up.
Grandma showed the boys her cartwheels. Not bad for an oldie who turned sixty one while we were there :)
Often the water is too cold for me to want to swim, but it was so nice (for Tassie at least) and I couldn't wait to get in every day. I felt like I was back to my childhood when I would just spend all day in the water, but in a lot of ways I felt like I was also doing it for Aaron, because he would usually be the one in the water playing with the boys lots. We kept saying how much Aaron would've loved it if he were with us.
We had to drag Milly in and it was the first time she had ever swum. The boys couldn't believe it when she just knew how to swim. She wasn't keen on the water and would try to get away from the water's edge if she thought we were going to try to get her in the water. I guess she must be more poodle than labradoor as apparently labs love the water, but she would much prefer to be watching us from the beach.
When we weren't at the beach we loved going to the pool to swim.
Every night after tea we loved going for a walk, bike ride and scooter rides.
We loved spending time with Mum and Dad at 'our' new beach house. I'm sure it's going to be one of our favourite places we will be spending time at, each summer from now on.
The first few weeks of summer holidays were hard. It's hard to enjoy having holidays, when all we wish is that Noah and Aaron were here, and all of us find it especially during the holidays when we are together all the time, without them. We try to keep busy and the best week we've had so far of the holidays is the time we've spent at Mum and Dad's new house.
They live a five minute walk from the beach and very close to two of my brothers and their families. Every time I go there I think how awesome it would be to live close to the beach, but I don't think I would ever move. It's just nice to have somewhere to stay and it feels like we have our own beach house now.
We were lucky to be there when we had the best week of weather of the holidays, so far. The heatwave had hit Tasmania and we were loving the hot days, as we could jump in the water all day. Every day we would spend hours at the beach. We would go to the beach where dogs were allowed off their leash during the day and had a great time with Milly, who loved the beach as much as we did, and would fetch the tennis ball for hours. I was having such a lovely time, that I didn't even take my camera and only took photos on my phone.
She was a bit confused about the tennis ball on the totem tennis, and kept wanting to fetch it. Most days it was hard to drag ourselves away from the beach. It was great having my friend Simone and some of her kids come to hang out with us one day.
Every day we would wait for the tide to go out so we could do our daily walk to the island.
When the tide is in all this sand is totally covered by water, so it was fun walking to the island and playing in the pools of water that were left behind. They were always so warm and Kobe loved to play in them. Often the water is too cold for me to want to swim, but it was so nice (for Tassie at least) and I couldn't wait to get in every day. I felt like I was back to my childhood when I would just spend all day in the water, but in a lot of ways I felt like I was also doing it for Aaron, because he would usually be the one in the water playing with the boys lots. We kept saying how much Aaron would've loved it if he were with us.
We had to drag Milly in and it was the first time she had ever swum. The boys couldn't believe it when she just knew how to swim. She wasn't keen on the water and would try to get away from the water's edge if she thought we were going to try to get her in the water. I guess she must be more poodle than labradoor as apparently labs love the water, but she would much prefer to be watching us from the beach. When we weren't at the beach we loved going to the pool to swim.
Every night after tea we loved going for a walk, bike ride and scooter rides.
We loved spending time with Mum and Dad at 'our' new beach house. I'm sure it's going to be one of our favourite places we will be spending time at, each summer from now on.
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Widows and Friends
This afternoon I was so excited to see photos pop up on Instagram of these amazing women together, who I have 'met' and are part of the 'widow wives club'.
Carly, Aly, Keri and Tiffany all met today in Utah. I wish so much I had a passport and a spare couple of thousand ( or five) lying around, so I could've jumped on a plane to have met with them too. I have been a widow the longest (by just 20 days) so it's crazy to think about what has happened to all of us in the past two years.
I know that their hearts are broken as much as mine, but it's so lovely to see them all smiling together.
Carly said that they had a great night eating, laughing, crying, and trying to figure out how to make it through without 'our boys'. Tiffany has 'only' been a widow for over few months, so I'm so happy for her that she could meet them so soon. I wish that I had that support early on.
Carly, Aly, Keri and Tiffany all met today in Utah. I wish so much I had a passport and a spare couple of thousand ( or five) lying around, so I could've jumped on a plane to have met with them too. I have been a widow the longest (by just 20 days) so it's crazy to think about what has happened to all of us in the past two years.
I know that their hearts are broken as much as mine, but it's so lovely to see them all smiling together.
Carly said that they had a great night eating, laughing, crying, and trying to figure out how to make it through without 'our boys'. Tiffany has 'only' been a widow for over few months, so I'm so happy for her that she could meet them so soon. I wish that I had that support early on.
Sunday, 12 January 2014
Having a Brother with a Disability
Last week Jalen said to me that he always wondered what it would be like to have a brother who wasn't disabled, and now that Noah isn't here, he knows that it's not good at all. Our life is so different now without Noah. We can just jump in the car and go somewhere without thinking twice. We don't have to worry about seizures, or sickness, or meds or feeds, or suctioning or toileting, or wheelchair access.
But Jay agreed that he would prefer to have all of that back, if Noah could still be here with us. I knew it wasn't always easy for Jay because Noah needed so much care, and after he said that, I joked with him that he should do a blog post for me. He said that he would like to, and this is what he wrote:
Ever since I was younger I've always wondered what it would be like to have a brother who wasn't disabled. And now I know. It sucks.
I feel like Noah has made
me who I am today, he taught me to accept people for who they are and to be more
caring. From a very early age I've always loved Noah and he was my only brother
for a while.
I remember on my first day of school I came home and went up to Noah and asked "Did you miss me Noah?" All he did was smile! His smiles were the greatest things in my opinion it would lighten up my day and makes everything so much better, sadly he didn't do it as much as he was getting older.
People would
find Noah so interesting or feel sorry for us but I just found him normal and
just treated him like anyone else and like he could talk and walk, but at times
I wished he wasn't disabled so I could have a brother closer to my age to hang
out with and play with.
A few month before Noah died I asked Mum how much longer do you think Noah is going to be around for? She said "Maybe a little bit longer"I said to her "I think he is going to die soon" then a few months later Noah was in hospital for the final time.
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The day Noah died, Mum and Dad took me
and the boys and told us Noah would be passing away. This was the biggest shock
for me and I thought he was going to be fine as he has been with all his other
trips to the hospital. I was so upset and cried for ages just looking at the
clock all day. When the time came it was the hardest thing for me to say one
last goodbye to him When he passed away it felt peaceful in the room and I was
happy for him to be out of pain.
I'm so grateful to have Noah as my brother for
all the blessings, life lessons and memories he has brought me and my family, and
I want to make him proud during my life time.
But Jay agreed that he would prefer to have all of that back, if Noah could still be here with us. I knew it wasn't always easy for Jay because Noah needed so much care, and after he said that, I joked with him that he should do a blog post for me. He said that he would like to, and this is what he wrote:
Ever since I was younger I've always wondered what it would be like to have a brother who wasn't disabled. And now I know. It sucks.
I feel like Noah has made
me who I am today, he taught me to accept people for who they are and to be more
caring. From a very early age I've always loved Noah and he was my only brother
for a while. I remember on my first day of school I came home and went up to Noah and asked "Did you miss me Noah?" All he did was smile! His smiles were the greatest things in my opinion it would lighten up my day and makes everything so much better, sadly he didn't do it as much as he was getting older.
A few month before Noah died I asked Mum how much longer do you think Noah is going to be around for? She said "Maybe a little bit longer"I said to her "I think he is going to die soon" then a few months later Noah was in hospital for the final time.
The day Noah died, Mum and Dad took me
and the boys and told us Noah would be passing away. This was the biggest shock
for me and I thought he was going to be fine as he has been with all his other
trips to the hospital. I was so upset and cried for ages just looking at the
clock all day. When the time came it was the hardest thing for me to say one
last goodbye to him When he passed away it felt peaceful in the room and I was
happy for him to be out of pain.
Wednesday, 8 January 2014
Widow Wives Club
Since Aaron passed away I have been blessed to have 'met' so many beautiful people who have touched my life. Some I have been able to meet in person, and others I have only met through the internet. These women and their husbands mean so much to me.
They are the cutest couple ever and I love seeing the pics that she puts up of them together. 
As much as I hate that we have all lost our husbands, I'm so grateful to have 'met' these amazing women. Even though we are in different stages of our lives, and our stories are different, we are still very much the same. We all miss our husbands incredibly and it's nice to have met people who really get what it's like.
We started a hash tag on Instagram #widowwivesclub where we put the hash tag on any pics that we post with quotes that we think each other may like.
It's definitely not the coolest club to be in, and it's not a club I wish anyone would have to join, but I'm grateful for these women who I one day hope to meet in person. I am wishing so much that I could just jump on a plane and fly to Utah
in the next couple of weeks, as they are all talking about meeting up very soon.
I can't wait to see photos of them together and imagine the laughs and the tears as they talk about their men, and how much their lives have changed in the past couple of years.
Aly and Cade
Tiffany and Ryan
We all have the same faith and I'm so grateful for that, because I know that these women get me...because they are all widows too. I 'met' Keri first, when Stephanie Nielson's mentioned her on her blog as they are friends. Her husband CJ was killed in an accident, as he rode his bike to work on Valentines Day. He died just 20 days after Aaron. Keri and CJ were only married for 18 months, but their love is so evident in the photos that she posts on Instagram and her blog.
They are the cutest couple ever and I love seeing the pics that she puts up of them together.
My heart is so sad for her as they hadn't had any children yet, and I know that she just wishes so much that she was able to have kids with CJ. Keri recently got the cutest little dog - Tiny, and I know how a dog can help, but it can never really take away the grief and loneliness that we feel without our husbands here. 
Keri looks for 'love notes' from CJ every day and keeps hold of them or takes photos of them.
Keri looks for 'love notes' from CJ every day and keeps hold of them or takes photos of them.
I love seeing photos of Keri with Megan, whose husband Josh passed away from cancer. I always feel like I am too young to have lost Aaron, but my heart just breaks for Megan and Keri who lost their husbands not long after they were married.
Aly's husband Cade passed away after an 18 month battle with cancer. I'm so glad that he got to meet his son Luke before he passed away. I love that Cade loved Pepsi as much as Aaron did, and smiled when I saw this photo of Aly and Luke as his grave with a bottle of Pepsi.
Carly lost her husband Michael very suddenly just a year ago, and not long later gave birth to her twins.
It's very hard being a single Mum, but I can't imagine having to give birth to twins just after my husband passed away. 
She is amazing and her twins are so cute.
The most recent widow is Tiffany whose husband Ryan was killed in an accident, just five months ago. They have two gorgeous girls.
Whenever I think about Tiffany I remember the shock after Aaron passed away, and imagine the things she is going through right now.
We started a hash tag on Instagram #widowwivesclub where we put the hash tag on any pics that we post with quotes that we think each other may like.
I can't wait to see photos of them together and imagine the laughs and the tears as they talk about their men, and how much their lives have changed in the past couple of years.
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