The Streak Is Over

It scares me how much I'm into the footy since Aaron passed away! It's like a huge part of him has become a part of me now.   I knew that Aaron would love getting into the spirit of the finals, so we went up to the cemetery and took up a couple of our Hawks scarfs.

I know Aaron wouldn't be impressed with the '4 year' scarf, but I didn't want to risk leaving his 15 year one at the cemetery.

To say that we are excited that Hawthorn are in the grand final next Saturday is an understatement.   My heart sank when I knew that we would be playing against the Cats in the preliminary final.  Because we haven't beaten them since the 2008 grand final, I knew that we surely had to beat them sometime soon, but wasn't confident that it was going to be last night.

I wanted to believe that it was the Hawks time to win, but I have to admit that at three quarter time I really thought that our year was over.  We watched the game at my Mum and Dad's house as it was their last night there before moving house today. 

I'm pretty sure that we didn't stop screaming the last seven minutes of the game.  I couldn't sit still and kept having to stand up.   Dad kept saying how he couldn't believe how much tbe boys and I are into the footy now and how much Aaron would love it.

This was the moment the siren went and we knew that we had finally beaten the Cats, and were in the grand final.   Harri cracks me up when he says 'that's the moment of my life!!!! The streak is over!!!!'.   It's so nice to see the boys so excited and happy.  I have no doubt that Aaron would've been doing the same thing in Heaven ;) :)

Sorry that the video is so small as it's off my phone.

We registered to go in the ballot to get grand final tickets which would be a dream come true.  I am not holding my breath as I know it's a once in a life time opportunity (unless you pay the big bucks to have membership where you are guaranteed a ticket) but you just never know.  I hate to think about the cost of airfares on grand final weekend, but I'm sure it would be worth it, if we were lucky enough.

Fingers, toes and everything else are crossed... but if we aren't lucky enough to get tickets through the ballot I'm sure it will be just as exciting watching it on our couch, eating party pies and drinking Pepsi for Aaron. 

Spring

You know you're getting old when you start appreciating gardens and want to spend time there.  When we moved house, one of the hardest things was leaving our beautiful garden which had been beautifully and professionaly landscaped for us, after Aaron and Noah passed away.  I especially hated having to leave lots of trees and plants that Aaron had planted himself, and beautiful trees and bushes that people had given us after Noah passed away. 

There were so many plants and trees that I wished that I could take with us, but there was one in particular. It was a beautiful flowering cherry tree which Aaron planted after Noah passed away, as he wanted to make a special garden for him. 

I was so happy when the buyer of our old house agreed that we could take a couple of special things including the flowering cherry tree.  My friends Kelvin and Annette were awesome and came and dug up the tree and a couple of plants and herbs and replanted them for me at our new house.  It was a terrible time of the year to be transplanting plants because it was the end of summer, so I knew that there was a chance that they wouldn't survive. 

I watered the tree and plants day and night during summer.  When autumn hit I noticed the leaves changing colour, but actually thought that the tree was dying.  I was so happy when I spring came as I finally knew that the tree had survived the move. 
The tree looks just as healthy as it did at our old house. It's so nice to have it here with us as it reminds me of the love that Aaron had for Noah and how hard he worked to make a special garden for him. 

The herbs which I got cuttings from at our old house, are also doing well. 
Aaron's Hawks gnome sits proudly in the herb garden.  It always makes me smile when I see it as it makes me think about my crazy hawks fanatic, and how excited he was when he got it from some of the teachers he worked with. 

The veggie garden that Kelvin and Annette came and built and planted out for me is also doing well.  I'm looking forward to some yummy summer veggies, and hopefully some raspberries from some raspberry canes which we planted. 
It's nice to finally have my own lemon tree too.
I'm not a gardener at all, so it's nice to have moved to a house where the garden is well established and has so many beautiful flowers coming out now that it's spring.  

 

 

 

As hard as the last two year have been and still are, I feel like I have many blessings in my life right now, and I'm so glad that I made the very hard decision to sell our house and move.   It will never fully feel like home without Aaron and Noah here with us, but it's nice to feel settled here, and to have such a pretty garden to spend time in.  

My Baby Is 14

Yesterday Jalen woke up the earliest he has in two years.  He came into my bedroom at 6.15 am and was very excited because it was his birthday.  It's so hard to believe that my 'baby' is 14. 

It was so nice to see him so excited and happy as the last couple of years have been harder on him than any of the boys.  It was a freezing cold morning (just as we thought spring had his Tassie, the frosty mornings returned) so we all jumped into my bed while he opened up presents.
He loved all his presents which all had a gaming theme.  I have no idea about gaming, so he gave me a 'wish list' which saved me. Lots of parcels had been arriving from the USA over the past couple of weeks.

I found an awesome card for him.  He thought it was hilarious.

I asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday and he said he just wanted to get pizza for tea.  I asked him if he wanted to do something like play mini golf or go bowling, but he said he was happy just 'hanging at home together' and playing his new games.   I didn't mind as he was happy and it was an easy birthday for me.

The lovely Cupcake Fairy Nicole offered to make Jalen's birthday cake again.   I feel very spoilt to not have had to worry about making the boys birthday cakes over the past two years.   Jay decided on a 'triforce' cake which is from the Legend of Zelda video game, which is one of his favourites.  I told Nicole it was probably the easiest cake she would probably ever have to make.     He loved it and it tasted delicious.

Nicole, The Cupcake Fairy not only spoilt Jay with a cake and present, but gave each of us a little pressie.  The boys loved that they came in Hawthorn bags.

Kobe was extra excited about the mints in a Hawthorn tin.    Thanks Nic for making the boys smile.

Before bed Jay talked me into watching Iron Man 3 with him as he got it on Blu Ray for his birthday.  It was nice to just hang out with him on my own, once Harri and Kobe were in bed.  Jay is growing up way too fast but I feel very blessed that he's such a great kid.  All day he kept thanking me for giving him such a nice birthday, even though I really didn't do much.  I know that Aaron would be so proud of him. 

Even though he had such a nice day yesterday,  he is feeling really sad and down today.  He said he has felt really 'depressed' all day today and I told him that it was probably because he had something to look forward to with his birthday coming up, and now it's over and reality has set back in again.  I also told him that some days are just sadder than others and it's okay to have those days too because we can't have really happy days every day.  I just hope that the really sad days continue to get further apart.  I'm glad that he was able to have a break from the sadness even just for a day. 

Making the Move

In a couple of weeks my Mum and Dad will be moving from our childhood home.  It's sad to know that they will no longer live in such a beautiful place, but I'm glad that they are making the move.  It's been such a hard decision to make, because their whole married life they have lived in the same area and the house that they built was their 'dream house'. 

The hardest thing to leave will be the space and the views.  They were very lucky to sell their house so quickly.  When they put it on the market they expected that it may take a while to sell, but it actually sold within a month.  We will miss all the family dinners out there.

They have bought a large block of land close to my brothers Jared and Eden and their families, and they will be renting a house while they wait for their house to be built.  Even though it won't be the same, I'm sure they will love having a brand new house again, and the best thing is that they are going to be nice and close to the beach.  I think the boys and I will be spending lots of time out there during the summer.

Today a container arrived at their house.  Mum has done so much work packing up their huge house, and in a couple of weeks we will all be helping them move their life to another place.  I know first hand how hard it can be to move from somewhere that has so many memories.  Whether it be thirty years or one year, it's still so hard to leave a place that you love, but I hope that the move for Mum and Dad will be as good as our move has been for us. 

Daddy Gives Me A Cuddle

Over the last few weeks Kobe has wanted the light on in the hall when he goes to bed.  He keeps telling me that he's sad and is missing Daddy, and that having the light on makes him feel better. 

Last night when I was putting him to bed I said to him 'when you go to bed, I think Daddy will be watching you'.  He looked at me and said 'yes Daddy does come into my bedroom.  He comes to bed with me every night.  He gets in here (pointing below his feet) so he doesn't hurt my legs and then he lies on this side of the bed' (pointing to the side that is against the wall).  

He was so sure about what he was saying. 

I asked him what Daddy did when he came into bed and he said 'he comes in at 10.30 because that's when Daddy goes to bed, and he lays next to me and gives me a cuddle'. 

I would love to believe that what he says is real, but if it isn't I love that Kobe believes it as it obviously makes him feel happier to think that Daddy is right there with him in bed.

Thanks again to everyone who has voted for my blog.  There's still another 12 days left to vote and you can vote once a day. 

The Possum Tree 2013

I couldn't let this year go by without getting a photo of the boys in front of the tree outside our old house.  For the past eight years I  have taken a photo of the boys in front of the same tree when it is in blossom.   I knew that the tree always comes out in blossom later than other trees, so I almost missed it this year!  Kobe and I drove past today and were excited to see it had blossoms still, so I dragged the boys out after school for a quick photo. 

Jay kept looking at our old house that we lived at with Aaron and Noah for six years, saying he was remembering all the 'good times'.  I do remember lots of good times there as that's where we lived when Kobe was born, but I didn't like the house, so I was glad that we weren't still living there. 

We still call it the 'possum tree' because that's what Harri called it when he was little.   Kobe has no idea that we are joking when we say it, so he calls it the possum tree all the time, which makes us laugh.

2012

2011

Our last photo with Noah at the tree - just a month before he passed away. 

2010

2009

I love this photo - they all look so tiny and cute

2008

2007

2006

I wonder how many more years I can get away with taking a photo of the boys in front of the same tree, before they refuse to do it anymore!? That will be a sad, sad day :) 

Thank you to everyone who has already voted for my blog.  

Three Good Things In One Day

This morning Kobe said 'there's three good things in one day today'.  Today is the first day of spring, Father's Day and also Harri's 9th birthday.  Harri was so excited about his birthday coming up.  Months ago he told me the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a dog.  I kept joking with him that since I bought Milly he got an early birthday present, and didn't need any more presents.  He didn't agree with me.

Last night he couldn't sleep as he was so excited.  At 11.30 pm I had enough of him getting up and saying he couldn't sleep, so I told him to get into my bed.  That didn't help and he was still awake at 12.30 am!  He was so excited to open up his presents this morning.  One of his favourite presents was a canvas that I got made for him with a photo of him running through the banner with Hawthorn.  
We went to church in Devonport because it was our church's conference today and afterwards we went to my brother Eden and Steph's house for lunch. 

It was nice that Harri could spend time with his cousins on his birthday. 

Kobe loves wrestling with Uncle Jared.

Harri had been really sad during the week as he knew that Father's Day was coming up on his birthday.  He was really sad to know that there was a Father's Day stall at school which he didn't have to go to.  I told him he could still make Aaron a card and we could take it to the cemetery, but he was too sad to do that.  It was nice that he was happy today, even though it was Father's Day. 

Thanks so much again to the lovely Cupcake Fairy, Nicole who made Harri's birthday cake for us.
It was nice to see my Dad on Father's Day.  He was cracking Jalen up as he was telling him stories about his first girlfriend he had when he was fourteen. 

Father's Day has been on my mind for the last month or so, when I started seeing Father's Day books and gift ideas in the shops.  One day it just hit me when I was looking for some books for school and saw and end with lots of Father's Day books on it. I considered buying a couple of books for the boys, but I knew that it would probably make them sadder so I ended up leaving them. 

Kobe was happy enough to make Father's Day things at school which was good.  He made a cute little book called 'My Dad'. 

This page made me smile.  Kobe obviously remembers Aaron's favourite things very well.  A week ago Kobe said to me 'lots of men drink beer Mum'.  I said that was right that some men do drink beer and he said 'Daddy didn't drink beer, why didn't he drink beer?'.    We talked about it and then he said 'Dad drinked Pepsi though' :)

I love the picture that Kobe drew of himself, with his Hawks colours on.

Jay had forgotten that it was Father's Day this morning until I joked that Noah had better have made Aaron breakfast in bed this morning.  Harri decided that Aaron wouldn't have a bed, but would sleep on a cloud :)  Jay was then quite quiet and teary all day as he realised that we were going through another Father's Day without Aaron.   It's hard to believe that our last Father's Day with Aaron on earth was just five weeks before Noah passed away.  I knew he wasn't well but had no idea that we had such a short time left on earth with him.  He didn't look very well at all that day.   I still love this photo with all five of my boys in it. 

I'm glad that Kobe still considers Father's Day to be a 'good thing' because I feel so sad to know that the boys don't have their Dad with them.  In a strange way it's comforting to know that Noah and Aaron are together.  I just wish they were still here with us.